When your child reaches their teenage years, it may seem that he or she doesn’t want or need your physical or emotional affection. But perhaps more than any time in their life, teenagers need the security of unconditional love from their parents.

Your Kids Just Want to Know They’re Loved

A young girl wrote these song lyrics about her absentee dad:

I wear your old clothes, your polo sweater. I dream of another you, the one who would never leave me alone to pick up the pieces — a daddy to hold me. That’s what I needed.

That young girl, Lindsay Lohan, would grow up to record those words in her song “Confessions of a Broken Heart.” She would perform in movies, be in and out of jail, go to rehab and struggle to “get her act together.” When we look beyond Lindsay’s erratic behavior, we see a girl in desperate search of her father’s love.

Another example: An extraordinarily talented 5-year-old boy was rehearsing songs with his four brothers for an upcoming TV special. The boys’ father was frustrated that the boys weren’t getting their parts just right. The little boy wanted clarification, so he addressed his father. “Daddy,” he began. Interrupting him, his father stated sternly, “I’m not your father right now. I’m your manager and don’t you ever forget it.”

Little Michael Jackson never did forget that moment. A few years before his death, Michael was speaking to students at Oxford University to his newly formed foundation, Help the Children. About fifteen minutes into his presentation he began to weep. After regaining his composure, Michael vulnerably shared: “I just wanted a dad. I wanted a father to show me love. But I never once heard my father say, ‘Michael, I love you.’”

More than fortune or fame. More than peer acceptance. More than anything else your kids can dream for. They mostly want to know you are there for them with unconditional love.

You don’t toss out your rules or lower your boundaries to protect them. Your kids need those rules and boundaries to feel secure. But they also need your rules and boundaries within the context of your loving relationship. The power of your love will be the motivating factor in their being able to make sound moral choices.

Demonstrate Your Unconditional Love

Here’s a suggestion: Go to your child or teenager right now and surprise them with a big hug. As you wrap your arms around them, tell them, “I love you.” Commit to letting them see you model your love every day. As you do, you will provide the security that you really are there for them with unfailing love.

Your loving relationship can empower your kids to believe right, embrace godly values, and live in ways that honor Him. That’s the power of love.

————————————————————–

> Need to talk to your kids about sex? Check out this bonus Chapter from Josh McDowell’s book Straight Talk.

> Check out the other parenting resources in our store.

> Want to hear Josh’s story of how he overcame his own difficult childhood? Click here to  learn about Josh’s journey!

 

Happy, loving people are people who share the most love.

“Make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life.” 2 Peter 1:5

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Happy, Loving People?

Would any of these famous, powerful, and wealthy people make the list of the happiest people in the history of the world?

• Adolph Hitler
• Joseph Stalin
• Queen Jezebel
• Nero

Not quite. And for one very good reason: Their lives were characterized by hate, and a hateful person is never a happy person. Think about it. The happiest people you know are those who love other people. That’s the way it works.

God commands us to love one another because He knows that hate diminishes our ability to love, and love expands it. He knows that people who act in love experience love twice: once when they give it away, and again when they receive it back. He knows that happy, loving people radiate love, which brings His light and joy to the world. 

When we choose to obey God, and focus on reflecting His love to others, He blesses us with joy and happiness. God is always pleased when we focus on loving others.

REFLECT: Who are the happiest people you know? Are their lives characterized by hate or love?
ACT: Do something loving for a friend or family member, and note how it makes you feel. 
PRAY: “Your love for me, God, makes me happy. And sharing Your love with others makes me happy because it pleases You. Help me to grow in my ability to selflessly love others. Help people to see Your reflection in me, so that I can tell them about Your love.”

NEXT STEPS:

• Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
  Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
• Catch up on our Journey Together posts. Experience God in a deeper way!
• Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God. Start here.

Adapted from, Love Can Make You Happy, February 14,  One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.

God makes it clear that we are to display God’s love, even to those who are mean and hateful to us.

You have heard that the law of Moses says, “Love your neighbor” and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:43-45

---

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

---

Display God’s Love

The following story is a variation on a tale that has been told by Jewish rabbis for centuries. 
Raybann and Soloplex, two of heaven’s angels, exchanged high fives and peered together at the scene below them. The Israelites stood, high and dry, on the banks of the Red Sea. They had just crossed to freedom and safety as the two mighty angels, under instructions from God, had rolled back the waters of the sea. Once God’s chosen people had safely reached the opposite shore, the angels released the water and the entire pursuing Egyptian army had drowned, along with their horses. 
Upon returning to heaven to make their report, the angels found God’s face dimmed.
“Is the Holy One not pleased with our success?” Raybann asked, bowing low before God’s throne.
“You rejoiced at the death of the Egyptians,” God replied. It was not a question.
“Your people are delivered, and their enemies are dashed to pieces,” Soloplex added.
God looked at His two messengers, and the sorrow in His expression turned their white robes to gray. “The work of my hands is sunk in the sea,” He thundered, “and you rejoiced!”

Although Pharaoh and his armies sought to enslave—even destroy—God’s chosen people, yet God loved them, just as He loves all His creation. 

REFLECT: Have you ever rejoiced at the fall of an enemy? Do you think Jesus’ command to “love your enemies” means that you have the right to feel happy when they fall? Or should you mourn, as God does? God asks us to showcase His love, even to those who are mean and hateful to us.
PRAY: “God, thank you for your love and for reminding me that love is always right. Help me especially to love_______________________ today, and to see them as You do. Help me to love them like You do.”

 NEXT STEPS:

• Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
  Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
• Enjoy this daily devotion? Sign up today to start getting it in your inbox. 
• Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God, so that you learn about His love for you (and that person you can’t stand). Start here.
  

Adapted from One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions, February 11. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.

Jesus’ words and life make it clear that love is always right. It is right for all people, for all places, and for all times. 

Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest command­ment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40

---

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

---

Love: Theme of Life

If your life was depicted in a TV show what would it be like? Friends? The Brady Bunch? The Office? 
Jesus’ entire life could be themed and titled Love. It’s the essence of who He is.

That’s why Jesus commands us to love. The Bible records Jesus saying,
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35, NIV).

Love was the center of everything Jesus did here on earth. He left heaven because of love. He became a man, to experience our humanity, because of love. He filled His life with doing good, because of love. He willingly died for us because of His amazing love. And in resurrecting, He guaranteed that we get to spend eternity in His loving presence.

How are you doing at loving like Jesus?

ACT: The next time you hear a love song, remember the theme of Jesus’ life: love.
PRAY: “Father, I want to love you with my whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. And I want to love the people around me, too. This week help me to show love to_______________________, so that they see You in me, and I can tell them about Your love.”

 NEXT STEPS:

• Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
  Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
• Enjoy this daily devotion? Sign up today to start getting it in your inbox. 
• Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God, so that you learn about His love for you (and that person you can’t stand). Start here.
  

Adapted from Your So-Called Life, February 12, One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions, February 11. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission.

Loving hard-to-love people requires God’s help. But we can do it!

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.” ~Jimmy Dugan

---

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

---

Loving Hard-to-Love People

In the baseball movie A League of Their Own, about a women’s professional team named the Rockford Peaches, team manager Jimmy Dugan delivers this powerful quote after his player Dottie says she’s quitting the team to go home. 
https://youtu.be/GOdAbjebs-g
Jesus spoke similar words to his disciples when He said,

“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God.” 1 John 4:7
“If you love only those who love you, what good is that?” Matthew 5:46-48

Dugan was talking about baseball, of course, and Jesus was talking about loving hard-to-love people. But they’re making the same point.

Are you having trouble loving the coach who won’t play you, the neighbor who disrespects you, the former best friend who has stabbed you in the back? Loving hard-to-love people is impossible without God’s help. And God totally knows that. Yet He says to do so, if we really want to say that we love Him. 
This is why God “has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love” (Romans 5:5). As we spend time with God, handing Him our hurts and anger and disappointment, He will give us peace, which helps us to love hard-to-love people. Love is His greatest commandment to us, right?
Our commitment to reflecting His love will, at times, be incredibly hard for us. Certainly way harder than any game of baseball! But let’s give it our all, refusing to quit, even when we occasionally strike out. Every day is another opportunity for us to love hard-to-love people, which God uses to further develop our Christ-like character.

It’s supposed to be hard. If it weren’t hard, everyone would do it. The hard is what makes it great.

REFLECT: Who do you find really hard to be around? Who do you find it really hard to be nice to? Think of something you can do this week to reflect God’s love toward this person. It might be as small as acknowledging this person’s presence. It might be doing this person a favor. It might even be including this person in your next social event. 
PRAY: “Thank you, God, for your Holy Spirit, who makes it possible for me to love others when I take my focus off of myself and place it on You.”

It’s when we surrender our hurts and forgive that we realize just how awesome God’s love is for us.  

 NEXT STEPS:

• Join us in our February Bridging the Gap posts as we explore the topic of love.
  Do we really know what “love” is, and how to show it?
• Enjoy this daily devotion? Sign up today to start getting it in your inbox. 
• Learn how to begin a personal relationship with God, so that you learn about His love for you (and that person you can’t stand). Start here.
  

Adapted from, Loving When It’s Hard, February 13,  One-Year Book of Josh McDowell’s Youth Devotions. © 1996, 2003, 2019 Josh McDowell Ministry. All rights reserved. Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright 1996. Used by permission. 

Grandparents, your role is super special. God has given YOU have the unique privilege of having a deep and lasting impact on your grandkids!

JOSH: People ask me, “Why do you have an emphasis on grandparents?”

Well, I’ve learned over the years that some of the most powerful people in a child’s life are Grandma and Grandpa. Why? Because when Grandma and Grandpa come over, they spend time with their grandkids, and often spend even more time with their grandkids than the parents do. Because of that, they’re a very powerful influence.

I believe that for grandparents to impact their grandchildren, they need to build strong relationships. The grandkids need to know that “Grandma and Grandpa really love me!” You build that trust that by listening to them, by encouraging them, by sharing God’s love with them, and by demonstrating your love for them.

Grandparents: As you build relationships with your grandkids, you should pass on God’s truth. But if you’re not grounded in God’s truth yourselves, you won’t be able to do that! 

Some important questions you need to be able to answer:

~ Why do you believe the Bible is true?
~ How do you know Christ is the Messiah, the Son of God?
~ Can you share why the resurrection is true, or that Christ is the Messiah, the Son of God?

Have these answers at the ready, because your grandchildren will likely ask them.

If you can’t give intelligent, biblically-based, historically accurate answers, your grandkids will eventually stop coming to you with these important questions. To gain these answers, you can read two of my bestselling books, Evidence That Demands a Verdict and More Than a Carpenter.

Check out these free parenting videos! I cover the topics of Affirmation, Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Approach Their World, and Accountability. 

Grandparents: Build loving relationships, be able to share truth within that context, and you will have a deep and lasting impact on your grandchildren. You were made for this!

Happy Father’s Day!

Are you aware that the research from the last 10 to 15 years has reversed 300 years of thinking?
We used to say that moms were the more critical caregiver as kids were growing up. But researchers now say that dads can have just as much influence, if both parents have an equal relationship with their child. It’s when dads don’t develop these relationships that their influence drops significantly below that of the mom.  

Do you want to have a relationship of influence with your children? Follow these three keys:

First Key: Model God’s Truth

Dads, as you talk to your kids about God, you actually become God to them. As God would say, “You look at me all together as you look at yourselves.” So we dads need to make our faith desirable to our children!

One of the most marvelous things any of my kids ever said or wrote to me was at a fundraiser we were doing in Carlsbad, California. My daughter Heather was going from Biola University to Mexico, to work at an orphanage. She stopped by the fundraiser, but before the end of my second talk she had to leave. So she wrote a note and left it on the table. When I finished speaking, I went over and read it. My daughter had written, “Daddy, did you know that when I was a little girl, I always wanted Jesus to be just like you?” I couldn’t hold it; I cried in front of everyone!

Second Key: Focus on Building Relationship

Dads, rules without relationship lead to rebellion. Truth without relationship leads to rejection.

Kids respond to rules and truth in a context of a loving, intimate relationship. Have you tried grace-filled parenting?

Third Key: Don’t Just Talk, Learn to Listen

Dads, listen, listen, listen — and then ask questions.

And when your kids answer your questions, don’t be correcting them. Just listen, then follow their answer with another question, and then another question. An important question: how well do you know your child?

By learning to actively listen to what you kids are telling you, you will create a two-way dialogue that will keep communication flowing.

Dads, be encouraged! If you focus on these keys, you will positively impact your children. I know this from personal experience.

Josh

P.S. Want to know my 7 A’s of Parenting? I’ve made a bunch ofshort videos in which I share these valuable parenting tipsI learned over the years with my own kids. I also encourage you to peruse ourYouth & Family Resources page and the Father Factor report.

In our next post in the Journey Together series, let’s talk about the transformational power of relationships, and how they create a strong foundation for our kids.

Catch up: The introductory post to the Journey Together series.

Moms, you deserve honor and affirmation every day!

“Hi, Mom!”

You know what’s interesting to me? That in all my years of watching sports, whenever the television camera keyed in on a player on the bench, I only ever heard ONE player say, “Hi, Dad!” EVERY other time the player said, “Hi, Mom!” You wanna know why that is?

Because of the special role moms play in the heart, memory, and life of their children.

Bottom line, moms build special connections with their kids because they “get” the value of relationship. Much more than dads do — though we try! Perhaps because God created moms to be nurturers, they seem to understand that relationship trumps rules. Here’s the truth: rules without relationship lead to rebellion. But when rules stem from relationship, kids listen!

When I think back on my childhood, my dad was hardly ever around for me — or if he was around, he was drunk. But I so clearly remember all the times my mother was there for me. She stood in the gap, ensuring that I felt wanted and loved. I think that’s the special ministry of moms: the ability to really be there for their kids, particularly if they’re sensitive to God’s leading.

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” ~ Proverbs 1:8-9

My wife, Dottie, really helped me to minister to our children as they grew up. And she gave me the huge gift of always elevating me in the presence of our children. Moms, that’s a terrific thing to do for your children, especially if their dad can’t be around as much because of work, ministry, or other reasons! Help your children to feel loved by their father — especially when he is incapable of showing it — and they’ll love you even more for it.

I know that you single moms carry a heavy burden, but you can excel at being the primary foundation in your children’s lives by building a strong bond based on availability, love, and trust. But don’t hesitate to let others help you to carry this load. There are, for example, so many older people without grandchildren in their lives who would love to have a shot at filling the role!

Moms, everywhere, I encourage you to begin building strong relationships with your kids early, and to dig in and keep the relationship going as they grow (even through the teen years when it feels like they’re not listening to you!), so you’ll get to savor the thrill of having a tremendous, life-long impact in their lives. I so enjoy spending time with my now-adult kids and their children!

Moms, I salute you!

Josh

I’ve been married to my lovely bride, Dottie, for nearly half a century now (wow!). She is an excellent mother to our kids because she always strives to be a conduit of God’s grace, love, and patience. Our kids adore her — as do I!

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” ~Proverbs 31:28-31

P.S. Want to know my 7 A’s of Parenting? I’ve made a bunch of short videos in which I share these valuable parenting tips I learned over the years with my kids. My seven tips cover the topics of Affirmation, Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Approach Their World, and Accountability. Check them out!

As our excitement for Easter’s approach builds, I have a question for you: What should be our focus … a chocolate bunny?

Or, perhaps, the sweetest love story the world has ever known?

Is Easter About a Bunny?

I’m fairly certain the Easter Bunny is not real. I’ve found no historical record of him in the Bible. Not in the Old Testament, and definitely not in the New. Okay, I’m kidding.

But I am serious on this point: Easter isn’t about a bunny delivering chocolate and jelly beans, or dyed egg hunts. It’s not about new dresses and fancy lunches and making a rare appearance in church.

Friends, Easter is about the personal, life-changing relationship God wants to have with each of us. No sugary treat that you and I can receive or give this Easter has a smidgen of the sweetness of His amazing gift. 

Searching for Truth

You may not know this about me, but I once totally doubted God and the truthfulness of Christ’s deity.

In fact, I set out to prove that the Bible is nothing more than a collection of distorted and unreliable records of historical and mythical events. I decided that if I could prove that the Bible wasn’t a reliable document of history, then I could also prove that everything it says about God and the Christian faith is in question.

Simply put, God’s existence did not jive with how I saw the world. So I traveled across Europe, seeking out historical manuscripts and knowledgable scholars to not only validate my view, but to do so beyond any shadow of doubt.

But I finally had to admit that the evidence for Christ being exactly who He said He is is overwhelming.

To remain intellectually honest, I couldn’t deny or ignore this truth. It would have been a lazy cop-out for me to just say, “I don’t like this evidence, so I refuse to accept it.”

Our Personal Worldview

I get that we all view life through the lens of our personally constructed worldview.

Some of us acquire our perspective through secular influences such as Darwinism, Postmodernism, or even Enlightenment philosophy. Some of us forge our worldview by the way people treat us. Some of us simply accept as truth whatever we’ve been taught by our parents, friends, or educators.

But a true worldview explains the world as it actually is. Not as we choose to see it.

Some people find it nigh on impossible to believe that God is a personable being who keeps us on His mind 24/7. One young man I met at a conference, for example, was attached to the idea that “God” is simply a massive energy force. So a “personal” relationship, he insisted, is neither possible nor intended.

I’ll agree that God is supernatural energy. But impersonal? No way. Over the past 50+ years I’ve learned that He is active in the smallest details of our lives, even if we don’t realize or acknowledge it.

Man-Made Construct?

“But your God and your Bible are man-made constructs,” argued my young friend. “All world religions are the same in this.”
In truth, Christianity is *nothing* like any other religion. Nor did it piecemeal itself together by borrowing from earlier religions, as some critics like to suggest. This truth is self-evident, if you do the historical research.

The Bible gives us concrete knowledge of God’s loving, yet holy character. The Bible is crystal-clear on one point: the personal cost God was willing to pay to prove His undying love for us.

Jesus was a real person. And He was crucified, died, and buried — then miraculously resurrected. The Romans couldn’t stop God’s plan. The Jewish leaders couldn’t stop God’s plan. Neither can you or I, no matter how committed we are to ignoring or belittling it.

Easter is About Jesus

This young man couldn’t see the value of Jesus’ sacrifice, or the joy believers have because of Jesus’ resurrection.
I asked him to do me a favor: to consider the truth of God with an open mind; to at least question the validity of his worldview.

“Who knows,” he conceded, before we went our separate ways. “I might change my mind one day. In part because you were willing to discuss this so amicably with me.”

Friends, his comment pierced my heart. It reminded me that we MUST share the Good News with kindness and grace. If we don’t share it with sweet humility, we lose our opportunity to have influence with others who have yet to come to know Jesus. This Easter, as you tell others about your relationship with Christ, model the gentle sweetness of our Savior.

Welcome! As Valentine’s Day quickly approaches, I want to ask you this question: Who is the author of the best valentine ever? Shakespeare? Keats? Dickinson?

Nope. God!

Valentine and Day. Just mentioning those two words together puts some in a major funk.

Because we’re not in a relationship, and desperately want one — or we’re in one, but the bloom of love has worn off. And some of us simply roll our eyes at Valentine’s Day — this “Hallmark Holiday” — because it feels contrived and inauthentic.

I’ve been married to my lovely bride, Dottie, for nearly half a century now (wow!). You can bet that after all these years, even on Valentine’s Day, I want her to feel really loved. But I have to admit that, to us, Valentine’s Day feels no different from the other 364 days of the year. Because we’re “all in” when it comes to loving each other.

The Author of Perfect Love

For the perfect example of how to do love “right,” Dottie and I look to the greatest source of love in the universe. I’m talking about God, of course. Our Creator loves us so much that He was willing to take human form to demonstrate the agony He feels about sin. Because God is utterly holy, He couldn’t allow us into full relationship with Him again until He took our sins upon Himself at the cross.

God pines for us! For the trusting, intimate relationship He always planned to share with us. He wants us to feel the assurance of His love 24/7 — 365 days of the year. His love is so perfect, in fact, that He refuses to remove it, even when we least deserve it. His love is as constant as the sun, moon, and stars, which serve to remind us of His incredible consistency, creativity, and power.

We know of His love because it’s the message He repeats … and repeats and repeats … throughout His Word. The Bible is His living, breathing love song to us. It’s like the best Valentine’s Day gesture ever … only way better than the biggest box of chocolates, lushest bouquet, or fanciest 5-star meal available on the planet.

God promises us that nothing can separate us from His love. One of my favorite verses of this promise is found in Romans 8:38-39. Commit this to memory! It’s a terrific verse to recall in the moments you begin to doubt that God loves you:

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

When Valentine’s Day pops up on the calendar this week, let it remind you of the greatest love you will ever experience — if you open your heart to God. His love won’t whither and fade like the petals of the beautiful red rose pictured above. His love blooms eternal. For YOU and for me. We are never separated from God’s perfect love.

WATCH THIS:  a short video of my recalling a Valentine memory with Dottie.