The Apostle Paul wrote a good bit of the New Testament, and much of the Christian lifestyle and church governance come from Paul‘s teachings. Should you and I still listen to him? The Bible is, after all, pretty old.

Has the Bible become so outdated that we’re smarter to follow the standards set by current culture? Or does it still speak, with power and relevance, into modern life?

I wrestle with these questions from time to time, but so far I’ve always returned to the Bible. I’ve found its God-inspired words to hold truth. Its teachings have helped me to build a firm foundation to walk in wholeness. Society can’t do that; its stability is an illusion because of ever-changing standards. Take morality, for example.

“Love,” in every flavor, is now “right,” because society now asserts that a person’s subjective view can’t be labeled as “wrong.” The same goes for sex. Society enthusiastically champions the freedom of personal experimentation and expression. But this “freedom” often results in chains. I personally experienced this with my 11-year addiction to pornography. Despite its promised satisfaction and intimacy, I lived wounded and disconnected, hiding in shame.

On whose authority does Paul speak? Do his teachings help us to live our best life?

Christ Bestowed Apostle Authority 

Before we get to Paul’s authority, let’s define the term “Apostle.” Jesus first used the term to reference the 12 men He commissioned to preach the kingdom of Heaven to the Jews, God’s chosen people (Matthew 10:1-7).

After His resurrection, Jesus then commissioned the Apostles (all but Judas, who hanged himself in remorse after betraying Jesus to be crucified) to spread the gospel to all nations and people (Matthew 28:16-20). These early evangelists were thus distinguished in human history.

The Apostles were recognized as holding God-given authority because Jesus had personally selected and appointed them to share His teachings. 

By definition, an Apostle had to have literally seen and walked with the risen Lord. Paul had not done so, yet Jesus did call him. And so dramatically that Paul instantly stopped persecuting the early Church, forfeiting all else to ardently champion it. His impact on the world would be amazing.

In Acts 26 we read the details of Paul’s vision of how Jesus revealed Himself as Paul travelled the road to Damascus. Of this life-changing encounter (1 Corinthians 15), Paul wrote, “Last of all, as though I had been born at the wrong time, I also saw him.” Paul’s personal commission by Christ (Acts 26:16-18) gave him the authority to speak for God with boldness and tenacity.

Paul reiterated his authority by sharing his commission in Galatians 1 and 2. He further distinguished himself from false apostles by performing miracles in Jesus’ name (1 Corinthians 12:12). And when he brought new teachings to the Jews in Berea (Acts 17:10-12), they examined the Scriptures to see if Paul’s words had support. They found they did. 

The Apostles Confirmed Paul’s Authority

The believers in the early Church sought out and accepted the teachings and miracles of the Apostles because of the authority Christ had clearly given them. Paul and the other Apostles were supernaturally empowered, just as Jesus promised. In John 14:26 and 15:26-27 we read that they were sent a helper (the Holy Spirit) to testify of God and to teach them further. 

The Apostle Peter, upon whom Christ declared He would build His Church, confirmed Paul’s authority when he asserted that Paul’s letters were equal with other Scriptures. In 2 Peter 3:15-16 he wrote, “Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him. He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters. His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.” 

Paul’s God-given authority withstood the scrutiny of the other Apostles. His conversion was too compelling. 

Ignatius, a Church father from the first century (AD 50-115), further confirmed Paul’s authority. He wrote, “I do not issue orders like an Apostle,” and “nor am I such a disciple as Paul or Peter.” 

Paul’s Teachings Remain Relevant to Us

Neither Paul, nor the other Apostles, spoke or acted on their own power. Jesus knew they would share His teachings in their own personal styles, which makes the Bible so unique. Their authority and His authority were combined, as God intended. We can trust that God knew what He was doing when He commissioned them. 

Some of Paul’s teachings are hard for us to understand, as they were written to address specific issues happening in the various church communities he was shepherding. Some of his writings seem harsh in the view of our modern lens. But Paul’s words remind us of our sin and the grace of Christ’s work on the cross to make us righteous before God. Every person needs to hear and accept these truths, to understand how much they are already loved, accepted, and wanted.

I choose to not sway with the instability of cultural morality, but to live to the set standard of my loving and unchanging God. Paul’s writings are God’s words. So as I read and study them, I strive to live by them. The lifestyle Paul promotes is good.

Without Paul’s teachings, I would still be living in the shame and guilt of my porn addiction. His words — God’s words — speak life and truth into my brokenness, empowering me to find abundant life.

NEXT STEPS

• Do you know God yet? Get started here!
• How do we know the Bible is reliable? Check out our blog posts on the Bible.
• Do you need to find freedom from your addictions? Our Resolution Movement can help!

A speaker with Josh McDowell Ministry, Austin served as Josh’s on-the-road personal assistant for two years. Austin holds a Masters in Theology from Talbot Seminary.

Imposter Syndrome. I know it well.

At the start of Covid, I attended a wedding and got exposed to a guest who unknowingly had the virus. I had to quarantine for two weeks. It felt like my world was crashing down, in part because I couldn’t spend time with my fiancée, Hannah. But we made the best of it: every night we would crack open our computers and FaceTime for hours.
I’d like to share with you the highlights from one of our discussions. It changed my life — and it could change yours.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Imposter Alert 

I know what you’re thinking: “I get that you’re in love, but what could you possibly talk about for hours every single night?”
Well, one thing we spent a lot of time discussing were two relationship books by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn, titled For Men Only and For Women Only. Hannah and I want to enjoy a great marriage that glorifies God, so we’ve been reading everything we can get our hands on about how God has uniquely created man and woman.
As I began reading aloud from Chapter 3 of For Women Only, I looked up to see Hannah taking vigorous notes. I smiled, grateful that she truly wants to fully understand and love me.
But then I began to squirm. Because the chapter began talking about male imposter syndrome, a topic I know all too well.
It took only a second for the familiar feelings of shame to rise up. Tears welled in my eyes as my stomach churned at the old lie that flooded my thoughts: I’m not enough.

Imposter Syndrome: A psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their skills, talents or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud.

Feeling the Fraud

My fear of not being enough has plagued me my entire life. (Perhaps you can relate?)
For me, the fear began in high school, when a friend told me that girls would never like me simply because I was me. 
Why did I listen to him? Because I struggle with being seen as smart and capable. I am well aware of my weaknesses and failures, but I’d rather keep them to myself.
As a pastor’s kid, I always felt the expectation to be perfect to be accepted. I secretly struggled with an addiction to porn at that time; I remember thinking, “If my parents or the kids in my youth group find about this, they won’t believe I have a real relationship with Jesus.”
I still often walk around with the fear of being found out for being a fraud. I don’t want Hannah to view me that way.
Sitting there, afraid to look into her eyes, all I could think was, “Will Hannah keep loving me, if she realizes how weak I really am?
Hannah provided the answer.

“Austin, there is nothing you can do or say that will cause me to think less of you. I am so sorry you feel this way. I’m not going anywhere; I love you.”

Freed to Be Authentic

In that moment, Hannah gave me the security of showing up as my authentic self. Her words reaffirmed her commitment to love me like God does: fully known and fully accepted. 
The promise of Romans 8:35-39:
“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, “For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Because of my worth in Christ, I don’t need to live as an imposter. Because He fully loves and accepts me, I can better affirm and love others. Especially Hannah.
Since those two weeks of nightly FaceTime chats, I have gained enormous confidence from Hannah’s respect and support. Her love pushes me to love and meet her needs, too. 
Proverbs 31:10 wisely notes, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.” We’re getting close to our wedding date, but I’ve already received the best wedding gift I could wish for: Hannah!

Next Steps

• Where do you struggle with imposter syndrome?
• Do you know anyone who struggles with imposter syndrome? 
• How might you remind them of their God-given worth?
• Do you struggle with hiding who you are? Check out our Resolution Movement!

As an Associate Communicator with Josh McDowell Ministry, Austin is part of the speaking team.

A mental health epidemic exists today among young people. Gen Z is more lonely and depressed than any previous generation. Their hurt presents an incredible opportunity for Christ-followers to share the restorative gospel of Jesus.

I don’t mean the “positivity gospel” that has seeped into the Church, but the authentic gospel that Jesus Himself taught. Much like the prosperity gospel, the positivity gospel promises that accepting Jesus guarantees a life exempt from pain and hurt. That a “good” God can be counted on to ensure that we enjoy a happy, thriving, successful life.
But this false doctrine shortchanges who Jesus is — and can keep us from experiencing the personal, trusting relationship He freely offers. To ignore your sin and human condition is to the cheapen the amazing grace of His gospel.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Healing Your Hurt Through Relationship 

God is not primarily concerned with our being “happy” or “comfortable.” Rather, as the great Christian writer C.S. Lewis once stated, pain is God’s megaphone to a deaf world. Our loneliness and hurt is a symptom of the problem we’d rather ignore: our sin and the broken world it causes. 
I know Jesus heals. With His help I have overcome the porn addiction, shame, and woundedness of my past. I have found true freedom. But I don’t now thrive because Christ healed me from that hurt. I thrive because while I was once dead in my sin, I am now alive in the grace and love of Jesus, my Savior. 
Jesus heals our anxiety, loneliness, depression, and other hurts as we live a relationally intimate life with Him and the people He places in our life to help us.

How to Enter Into a Relationship With Jesus?

Admit that you are broken, and the root cause is your sin.

The Bible tells us that Jesus taught that our issues and hurts start with our heart. In Matthew 12:34-35, Jesus says, “For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” At the root of our actions and behavior is our broken, sinful nature. Our sin separates us from the Holy God who created and unconditionally loves us. In choosing Jesus as Savior, we are restored in right relationship to God. Our sins are completely covered by Jesus. Goodbye, guilt, failure, and fear! We get to begin again!

Accept that Christ has unlimited power, but sometimes allows hurt for His purposes.

There is nothing that God can’t do. Yet He doesn’t always heal our hurt in the way or timing we think He should. The Bible promises us that God’s plans are always best, and work for our good. God does not like that we live in hurt and pain. He wants us to walk in joy and freedom. When we choose to believe that He loves us unconditionally, we can decide to daily trust Him, our hearts and hands open to His will and His timing. God is for us!

Recognize that Christ has an eternity mindset; we should, too. 

Our earthly lives are short and temporary. As I read the apostle Paul’s letters in the New Testament, I am awed by his eternal mindset. Paul clearly grasped the truth of the gospel message and his sinful nature. He understood that his relationship with Christ will last for eternity, so he made it his priority. Jesus should be our primary focus, too. Jesus, alone, can heal the loneliness and hurt we experience from a life crippled by our broken souls in this broken world. Let’s seek Him to know Him, and to watch Him work through the hurt in our lives to produce good!

Jesus saves. Jesus comforts. Jesus restores. Jesus brings us to life!

Next Steps:

• May we pray for you? Click here.
• Want to start a personal relationship with Jesus? Click here.
• Check out Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter, to learn about the historical evidence of Jesus. He lives!
• Want to a thriving life to deal with your hurts? Check out our Resolution Movement.

Austin serves as a speaker with the Josh McDowell Ministry. A recent graduate of Talbot School of Theology, Austin and his wife Hannah seek to reach a wounded and broken generation in relevant ways with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

On this Father’s Day, I am thankful for the spiritual role model my dad has always been for me. A senior pastor at Rockpoint Church in Lake Elmo, Minnesota, he began to ingrain in me, at an early age, the four traits of biblical manhood. 

When someone asks me to define biblical manhood, I reference Raising a Modern Day Knight, the resource my dad and his friends used to teach me and my friends that a biblical man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward, God’s reward.
Now, years later, the traits are ingrained in my mind. They stuck because my dad didn’t just teach them, he modeled them. The traits have been my guide for decision-making, and a checklist for my character. I believe that I am the man I am today because of my dad’s teaching and actions.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Modeling The Four Traits of Biblical Manhood

As my friends and I sat around the fire one night in Northern Minnesota, our dads took the opportunity to teach us about biblical manhood. We each pulled out our journals and took notes. In that moment, I didn’t know how influential the Raising a Modern Day Knight program would become for me. The four traits, which I highlight below, have helped me to pursue Christ as I navigate this sin-soaked world. 

1) A Biblical Man Rejects Passivity

From the very beginning of the Bible, we see the theme of work. In the first couple of chapters of Genesis, the author describes God’s creation of the world as “work.” This work is connected with divine, orderly creation and human purpose. In Genesis 1, we see God taking delight in His work. Genesis 2 expands to God caring for His creation. He then commissions humanity to continue His work. Genesis 1:28 says that we are to “fill the earth and subdue it.” 
The commissioning of humanity’s work was designed to bring us reward and freedom. But it requires our discipline. The book of Proverbs tells us that God is honored by our good work habits. These habits are formed from our reverence for God, and generally lead to our prosperity. It’s easy to sit back and take a passive approach to life, but you and I are called to a higher standard. 

I have watched my dad work not just for the provision of our family, but for lives of many to be changed by the good news of the Gospel. My dad doesn’t sit idle, but works out of obedience from the calling of his loving Lord. I actively reject passivity because of his actions.  

2) A Biblical Man Accepts Responsibility

Parents raise their kids to the best of their abilities, but that doesn’t mean there won’t be hurt in the process. As a kid, I always wanted my parents to be perfect. I knew my sin and mistakes, but I struggled when my parents would fail. It wasn’t until later in life that I realized that my parents are just like me: broken and sinful, yet saved by the grace of God. The difference between my sin and my parents’ sin has been their response. 
I used to (and sometimes still do) hide in my sin as it produces guilt and shame. Like Adam and Eve, we tend to respond to our failures by running and covering. I find my gut reaction to sin is to shift blame, lie, and avoid pain. But my parents have modeled a better response: dealing with their sin quickly and responsibly, as God commands. They repent, first bringing their sin to God in confession, then to others in conversation, and finally by taking active steps to turn from their sin. 

I learned to accept responsibility for my actions by watching my dad. I remember a few times he understandably got frustrated with me and my sisters, only to sit next to us in bed later that night, to apologize and ask for our forgiveness. Those little moments of taking responsibility have been monumental in my own integrity and development.

3) A Biblical Man Leads Courageously

My dad leads from his convictions, not necessarily his beliefs. To hold a belief, people know what they believe in. But to have conviction, we must know why we believe it, and have experienced it in our lives.   
I’ve learned that being a spiritual leader isn’t always about spiritual conversations, group devotions, or the outpouring of knowledge. These are important, but one of the most important ways we can model spiritual leadership is through our daily walk with Christ. Most of the time, leadership isn’t public. Rather, it is in our private moments, when we choose to do the right thing when no one is looking.
Jesus, in John 15:4-11, calls us to remain in Him, as He is the one who produces life. Courageous leadership stems from remaining in the source of all good things, our heavenly Father.

 My dad has always led my family publicly, and himself privately. I have always admired the way he processes things with my mom, discerns current events, and spends time reading and applying God’s word. My father’s leadership isn’t just affecting lives here on earth, but affecting lives for eternity.

4) A Biblical Man Expects the Greater Reward, God’s Reward

My dad also modeled that biblical manhood is rooted in meekness and humility. Meekness is power under control. Humility is knowing who you are, Who made you who you are, and giving God the glory. Biblical manhood is not working or leading for recognition by others here on earth, but for the one whose opinion ultimately matters, our heavenly Father. We can only grasp this eternal mindset when we continue to remain in Christ, walking in His way and following His example. 

What ultimately matters is if we know Jesus, not how much stuff or recognition we have. Do we love people well, are we guiding them toward the gospel, and furthering their fulfillment in Christ? My dad has an eternal mindset, and is working for eternity. To the best of his ability, he strives to do all things for the greater reward, God’s reward.

A Modeled Relationship & Spiritual Legacy

My dad did not learn to model these godly character traits on his own. To understand why my dad taught them to me, we have to look at his relationship with his own father. I have a loving, principled father because of my grandfather. 
My grandpa was a sharecropper. He was raised dirt poor, by an extremely dysfunctional father. Hearing him say that he hated his dad still shocks me. My great-grandfather stole from my grandpa and victimized him. Angry and bitter, my grandpa sat in the little chapel where he first heard about Jesus. Confessing Christ as Lord, he chose not to be a victim, but to forgive his father and walk in the way of Jesus. 
My grandpa made the decision to model Christ’s ways to my dad. Because of that choice, my father was then able to model biblical manhood to me. The blessings I have received from my dad are the result of my grandfather’s obedience and faithfulness in walking with Christ. Click this link to listen to my grandpa’s story from my dad’s perspective.
Sadly, I all too often hear stories of father wounds distorting and damaging family relationships for generations. My grandfather’s testimony teaches us that it takes choosing to change to disrupt this painful cycle. It requires a step of obedience to forgive, not live as a victim, and walk in the love that Christ modeled. 

My dad hasn’t just taught me about the Bible, he has walked the way of Jesus in his everyday life. His teaching hasn’t just led me; his actions have motivated me to follow in his footsteps. 

I love you dad. I am so thankful for the impact you have had on my life. You will always be my hero! 

Happy Father’s Day!

• May we pray for you? It would be our honor to walk alongside you. Share your needs with us.
• Josh’s free parenting research for dads: The Father Factor.
• Order your Dad’s Survival Pack resources from our website store.

Austin serves as a speaker with the Josh McDowell Ministry. A recent graduate of Talbot School of Theology, Austin and his wife Hannah seek to reach a wounded and broken generation in relevant ways with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

It’s okay to not be okay. But it’s not okay to stay there.

I walked into Christian churches, concerts, and events for years with the goal of performing. As a pastor’s son, I thought I had an image to uphold, so I acted like I had my life together. I believed in performance-based acceptance. As long as I acted like I wasn’t sinning, everything was “good.” If my relationships with God and others were great, I believed that people would like and accept me. 
But I didn’t have my life together. I was incredibly lonely, sinning with pornography, and feeling distant in my relationships. I was terrified that if someone found out who I was, they would reject me and expose my sin. I believed Satan’s lie that I was not enough. Thoughts flowed through my head as I labeled myself “unloveable,” “unworthy,” and a “failure.” I not only believed these false labels in the context of my human relationships, but in my relationship with God Himself. 
I had hidden sin, in the place we are supposed to have the freedom to expose and confess our sin. But I felt like I needed to fake it, even in church, to be accepted. Can you relate?

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Imposter Syndrome

I think that we are subtlety told through the media that we need to be perfect. We live in constant comparison with others, believing they are better than us. Men are told they need to be strong and tough. Women are told they need to support and be perfect. We follow others we look up to, assuming they have it all together. Instead of giving us motivation to become better, this comparison tears us down. It reinforces that who we are is not good enough, and never will be.
I have even seen this in the Church, and I’m sure you have, too. No matter how much I tried to perform and be like a pastor, or influential leader, I still failed. No matter how much I read my bible and prayed, I still sinned. The lie is that if we have a good relationship with Christ, we won’t struggle or fail. If we are thriving, we won’t be failing.
Have you ever heard the expression “Fake it till you make it”? It’s the Imposter Syndrome. It says, “Don’t let anyone find out who you really are, because you won’t make it if they know who you really are.” 

But here is the reality: we are not good enough on our own! This is why Jesus came.

Okay to Not be Okay

When we understand the grace we have been given, the true nature of the Gospel, it becomes okay for us to not be okay. We can understand our sin, but also understand the Savior who paid for it.  Check out my friend Matt’s article on the guilt we feel, even when we are forgiven.
Sometimes it takes confession to realize that it’s okay to not be okay. Through years of porn addiction, I had built up the belief that it was not okay to not be okay. But in a moment of brokenness fueled by hope, I reached out and trusted others with my sin. When I admitted that I was not okay, I was met with love, understanding, and acceptance. I wasn’t rejected, like I thought I would be. This is when I learned that I could share my struggles, and not be looked down upon for them.
But there was a second lesson I learned: It is empathetically okay not to be okay, but when that okay hinders us from something that may better us, it’s not okay.

Christ Calls Us To More

The initial moment of confession, expressing our brokenness to another person is huge. But it should not end there. This life will throw many problems and pains at us. Maybe it’s divorced parents, a pandemic, difficult people, or sin. When we begin to open up about our pain, and process it with others, we are taking the second step to not stay that way.
To grow to become the person Christ created us to be, we must first confess, then process our sin and pain. Christ promises forgiveness in 1 John 1:9. But stopping there often does not produce the relational and emotional healing we desire. James 5:16 promises healing when we confess and pray for each other.
Our sin has consequences that we must deal with. We need to process the pain, understand the root of the issue, and take steps to remove ourselves from the problem. It is always tempting for us to isolate in fear. But we should run to others, with the hope of being met with love. 

Dealing With Sin and Pain

To begin my journey of confession and repentance, I needed permission. It took following authentic people who told me that I could be real. I sat for years hidden in my shame and guilt, believing the lie that I was not good enough. I showed up to church weekly lying about my great life. But when the authentic people opened up around me, and told me that it was okay not to be okay, I gave it a shot. I confessed to God, confessed to others, and began to repent from my sin.

Practical steps for dealing with sin and pain:

~ Take it to God in confession. Be real and share your true emotion.
~ Take it to others in confession and conversation. Be honest.
~ Process it. Name the fears, the sin, and talk through it with others. This is repentance.

That initial moment of opening up was terrifying for me. And it might feel terrifying to you. But don’t let your fear stop you. Confession is your first step to freedom. Here is your permission: it’s okay not to be okay, but don’t stay that way.
Jesus has paid for your sin in full, and God looks at you through Christ’s death. When you accept that good news, you become as white as snow in His eyes. So confess, repent, and experience health and freedom. Take the first step of confession!

We Care!

• May we pray for you? It would be our honor to walk alongside you. Share your needs with us.
• Would you like to know more about my story? Wounds, Shame, and Isolation: My Story
• What does true freedom look like? Living in Freedom from Addiction

AUSTIN IS PART OF THE SPEAKING TEAM AT JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Who says your Christian testimony has to be huge for it to have value?

Listen as Austin shares what our testimony is really intended to do in the lives of others: highlight Jesus, not ourselves. Your hope in Christ might be the very encouragement a friend or family member needs to hear to get through the pandemic.

How Can We Help?

> Do you want to have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
> We’d love to pray for you! Please send us a prayer request via this form.
> Print out these Bible verses about prayer! Read them. Believe them. Memorize some!
> Catch up on our Bridging the Gap posts. Experience God in a deeper way!
> We invite you to read Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter. This short apologetics classic examines evidence about Jesus.

Austin is part of the speaking team at Josh McDowell Ministry.

We need authenticity, within healthy relationships, to find the freedom to become the people God wants us to be.

A few years ago, Josh McDowell rallied our ministry speaking team when he sat us down with his friend, Dr. Henry Cloud, a giant in the counseling world. You might have seen Dr. Cloud’s name on the back of one of his many internationally best-selling books, including his Boundaries series.

As Dr. Cloud notes in his book Changes That Heal, “Every week I see Christians who are suffering from a whole range of emotional problems: anxiety, loneliness, grief over broken relationships, resentment, and feelings of inadequacy. Often they have been struggling with these problems for years. They are people in pain.”

Some learn to hide that pain so well, for years, that no one sees it. Even though it’s at the forefront of our minds every minute. And every single one of those minutes, we live in fear that we’ll be discovered.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

We’re Designed for Relationships

As Dr. Cloud taught us about developing healthy relationships, he offered us a biblical model for addressing these struggles. He really opened our minds with his research, knowledge, and wisdom. But what impacted me most during our time together was the realization of how much he cares for individuals, even me.

Nearing the end of our training session, Dr. Cloud handed each of us a book titled The Power of the Other. He told us it would be a game-changer, if we read it. When I later opened the book, I was confronted with this statement: 

“There was only one thing that brought about change… the relationship. What actually brings about change in people, and the cure, is the relationship.”

This statement is super important, because it is foundational. The bottom line: For someone to speak into our life, we first need to feel that they care. We can choose from the best resources, books, and tools, to “fix” ourselves, but in the end, the curative force that helps us change is healthy relationships. People who care about us. People willing to offer us companionship — and grace.

Think about your hobbies. Maybe you’re into surfing, skiing, video games, or boardgames. Sure, these are fun to do alone. But I know that I would way rather surf with my friends than surf alone. Doing things with my friends fulfills me because we are enjoying them together. Even if we’re in an unexpected period of “social distancing” like we find ourselves in now, we still need relationships.

At the core of our being, I think we all know this: we crave connection. Even the most introverted or antisocial among us need connection. Do you know someone who doesn’t particularly like people, but has one or more pets? They are meeting their need for connection.

The Bible gives a pretty good explanation for why we crave relationships with others.  Simply put, Genesis 1 tells us that we have been created for intimacy with God. Genesis 2 adds that we also are created for intimacy with others. 
But here’s the catch: relationships only work when they are healthy. Lying and manipulating both stress and hurt relationships.

But in healthy relationships, authenticity, vulnerability, intimacy, and selflessness bring us closer together. In healthy relationships we are able to identify and deal with our emotions. In healthy relationships, we are able to work through our pain. In healthy relationships we are able to share our hidden parts of ourselves, guided by the Holy Spirit.

The Weight of Disconnection

One of the points Dr. Cloud shared with our team is that our hearts have two basic desires: to be fully known and fully loved. I really love what Dr. Timothy Keller, a renowned speaker and pastor in New York City, says about the joy of being fully known:

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” 

When we are lost in addiction, loneliness, and pain, we feel the weight of disconnection. When we are not fully known or fully loved within healthy relationships, we feel the weight of disconnect. I personally struggled with this disconnect for 11 years, when  I was addicted to pornography.

While on the outside I appeared to have it all together, I was hurting and wounded on the inside. I desperately hid this part of myself — even from my family who love me so much — because I was afraid of being rejected.

I want you to ponder this statement for a minute, until it really sinks in: When you are 99 percent known, but still 1 percent unknown, you are fully unknown.

“But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God.” ~ Dr. Timothy Keller

Living in Our 1 Percent

When I first heard this concept from Matt Chandler, pastor of The Village Church in Dallas, Texas, I was skeptical of its truth. But as I compared it with my personal experience, and the experience of others that I know, I realized that it is valid.

If you are skeptical, here’s the bottom line: It’s not so much about the percentage, but the principle of the statement. When we don’t feel fully known, we don’t feel fully loved or accepted.

For years I shared most of my life with others. But I hid my addiction to pornography, which prevented anyone from fully knowing me. I was consumed with guilt and shame, but I learned to act like everything was okay. It took so much effort. And kept me in fear.

I filtered everything through that guilt and shame. When someone would compliment me on something, I thought they would retract their statement if they knew about my hidden sin. If a person told me that they loved or valued me, I didn’t believe it. Because they didn’t fully know me. When we are even 1 percent unknown, we live as if we are fully unknown. We put up walls of facade to protect ourselves.

Authentic Relationships Lead to Freedom

But Jesus is looking for our honesty. In our failures, He wants to see progress in our repentance from sin, not our perfection. What matters to Him is the actions we take when we sin. Unfortunately, there’s a problem in the Church. Too many people get the idea that they have to be “alright” all the time.

I grew up in church; I’m a pastor’s son. I internalized the message that the ideal Christian prays continuously, studies the Word, evangelizes everyone, and is holy all the time. Which is why we see so many Christians afraid to admit their sin. But if we accept this lie of perfection, all we can see is our sin and failure.

Yes, we can try to fill our desire of being loved and accepted by portraying a false version of ourselves, as I did for almost a decade. People will accept us for putting on a show, but will our hiding a part of ourselves bring us closer together? No. As I found out, it just brought more pain. I hated myself.

But one of the greatest sources of healing in my recovery from porn addiction was my decision to be 100 percent vulnerable with the people I love and trust. I was so afraid to do so, but when I finally pulled back the curtain on my junk to my parents, they offered me what Jesus also offers: unconditional grace and acceptance. Choosing to become 100 percent authentic has allowed me to step into healthy relationships that have brought me closer to God and others.

Now it’s your turn. What is the 1 percent that is isolating you from people? What do you need to stop hiding, so that you can begin to walk in self-forgiveness and grace? I encourage you to  share your burden with people you trust.

Are you worried what they will think of you? If it is someone you trust to love you, my guess is they won’t disown you or kick you to the curb. I bet their response will go something like this, “Hey thanks for being honest.” James 5:16 states that when we confess our sins to each other and pray for each other, we will be healed. I know this verse is true, because I am living it.

If I can encourage you further, please leave a comment below. God unconditionally loves you. Don’t think your sin can ever change that.

NEXT STEPS:

• Want Josh McDowell Ministry to pray for you? Share your needs with us.
• Who does God say that you are? Check out Ben Bennett’s article.
• Check out Josh’s research on the epidemic of pornography.
• Have you checked out our Resolution Movement? Click here.

Austin serves as a speaker with the Josh McDowell Ministry. A recent graduate of Talbot School of Theology, Austin and his wife Hannah seek to reach a wounded and broken generation for Jesus Christ.

A few years ago my sister walked up to me on the campus of Liberty University, seeking comfort from her older brother. A magician had just attempted to manipulate a kiss from her via his magic trick.

She came to me for safety and protection. But as I heard her story, I felt no emotion. Does that sound off to you? I mean, big brothers are supposed to be protective of their sisters, right? But in hearing that some guy had tried to kiss my sister, I honestly felt nothing. I remember thinking, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a kiss.” 

My years of watching pornography had desensitized me to healthy love. Love lost its beauty.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Love: A Chemical Reaction?

When I first heard Josh McDowell speak on love, he claimed that it’s just a chemical reaction. That didn’t sit right with me, as I thought love was the good feeling we get when we really like someone. It felt like the word “chemical” took the emotion out of it. 
But Josh is right; we feel the emotion of love because of a chemical response. When we feel incredible joy, excitement, or sadness, it’s because of a release of chemicals in our brain.
Take the chemical, dopamine, for example. Dopamine is known as a pleasure chemical. When we satisfy a craving for hunger, or are complimented for doing something well, this feel-good chemical is released in our brain. This makes us feel great. Likewise, when we kiss, hug, or have sex, dopamine is released. 

Many mental health disorders are linked to too much or too little dopamine in different parts of the brain. Dopamine can fuel addiction.

The Big Problem

But here’s an interesting fact: the chemicals in our brains that produce bonding, good feelings, or love, are morally neutral. That’s right, the chemicals in your brain lack a moral code. That means they don’t know the difference between sex in a loving marriage relationship — or rape.
Which is why we have to tell our brains what is and is not acceptable. What is right and what is wrong. Otherwise dopamine and other chemicals will have free reign to lead us where we have no business going — whether that’s consuming too many cookies in one sitting, or developing a habit of porn.
I remember the first time I saw porn. It was in my neighbor’s basement. I was in kindergarten. I felt repulsed — as I should have. But in choosing to return to porn years later, those repulsive images became pleasurable to me.
Repeated porn viewing creates an addiction to see more. As the dopamine overpowered my repulsion, I began to associate pornography with pleasure. My brain was being rewired and desensitized. I allowed this ugly habit to grow bigger because seeing the graphic images felt good — even though I knew, from my Christian upbringing, that it wasn’t good for me.

Our brain likes pleasure. So if something feels good, we tend to return to it for more of that good feeling. 

After gaining pleasure from seeing so many horrific pornographic images, my brain viewed porn as normal. So, by the time my sister came running to me for empathy, I had none to give her. Watching porn had totally skewed my view of physical touch.
I had begun to think of women as objects for my pleasure, and that sexual acts outside of marriage weren’t all that bad. This became scary to me, because my parents had raised me with this truth: sex is God’s beautiful design to cement a couple’s love inside of marriage.

What’s your view of sex and love? Ask yourself these questions:

• Are you watching porn? If you are, know that you are being desensitized to healthy love every time you view it.
• Do you feel tension or conviction when you read God’s Word, or hear about a biblical model for sexuality? If so, there is conflict in your view of sexuality.
• Are you repulsed when you see sexual content outside of a biblical view of sexuality? If so, love may have lost its beauty for you.

The Healthy Solution

God created our emotions and ability to experience love in the context of His design. He also created our brains with the ability to learn — and unlearn. We can be desensitized to our addictions, even a strong addiction like pornography.
In Romans 12:2, Paul states, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” Our brains can return to a state of health, by what we feed it, so that we gain a healthy, biblical view of sex and love. 
I’m not going to lie: this renewal of the mind takes hard work. We get there by daily starving the unwanted behaviors, thoughts, or beliefs in our head, and replacing them with healthy ones. I know this to be true because I have personally experienced this transformation. I have spent the past three years pursuing health and freedom from my porn addiction. Today, I can truthfully say that I am free of it and have found health.
When my sister and I now speak of this old memory, she clearly remembers the numb expression on my face. I regret not being there for her. If she came running up to her big brother today, would my response be different? Yes!
Now I would be able to feel her hurt and embarrassment and be there to console her. And if I am honest, I might have to go deal with that magician. After my experience with porn, I don’t want anyone to have the opportunity to cheapen love or physical touch for her.
Porn desensitized my brain to see women as objects. But now I see each person on this planet as loved and cherished by God. And I can now clearly see that His design for sex and love is very good, because it is healthy, selfless, and affirming.
I am deeply grateful that, for me, love has no longer lost its beauty. 

Porn turns people into objects. Porn turns sex into self-pleasure. Porn causes love to lose its beauty.

NEXT STEPS:

• In this video, Sean McDowell asks, “What is the best definition of love?“
• In this post, Ben Bennett answers the question, “How do we overcome the shame caused by desensitization?“
• Please read my article “Living in Freedom From Addiction.“
• How does porn affect our brains? Check out Josh’s research in “The Porn Epidemic.”

Austin serves as a speaker with the Josh McDowell Ministry. A recent graduate of Talbot School of Theology, Austin and his wife Hannah seek to reach a wounded and broken generation in relevant ways with the gospel of Jesus Christ.

In the midst of addiction, our hope for freedom can be clouded by a loss of control, depression, and isolation. From personal experience, the light at the end of the tunnel becomes more and more dim as failure and shame build. While trapped in my addiction to pornography, I thought for years that freedom was unattainable. 

My pride and desire for control lead me to think that I could fix myself. The harsh reality was that I couldn’t. But I sit here today, in this moment, with a new level of health and freedom. How did I finally get here?

“Freedom is not having the ability to do what you want to do, freedom is having the ability to do what you ought to do.” – Josh McDowell

Identifying Freedom

First of all, let’s define “freedom,” specific to addiction. About a year and a half ago, when asked to define freedom by a few of the staff here at Josh McDowell Ministry, I thought a moment and replied, “Freedom is not struggling with temptation or sin.”
At the time, I really thought that was the goal I was supposed to be aiming for. It was certainly my personal goal in the first few months of my recovery. But I have come to realize that it’s not the right goal or definition, because it’s completely unrealistic.
Back then I expected that there would be a moment in my recovery where I would experience complete freedom — which would last the rest of my life. I thought freedom meant I would no longer struggle with lust, experience the temptation of sexual sin, or have to deal with the consequences of my sin. Now I understand that complete freedom isn’t possible here on earth, because of our inherent sinful nature. We still sin.

Justification

From my mindset of not struggling, I defined freedom through the lens of justification. Justification is a big theological term that means “to be declared righteous, or to be made right with God.”
Romans 5:18-19 tells us what Christ did for us: “Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for fall men. For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.”
When Christ died on the cross, He took our sins upon himself. In His resurrection, He conquered that sin. Because of His gift of grace, we believers are justified, or declared righteous, when we surrender our lives to Him. Christ paid the price that we could never pay; we are fully forgiven, if we choose to accept it.

Sanctification

I think a much better definition of freedom is found in terms of sanctification. To be sanctified is “to be brought into the presence of God and to share in the life of His Son through the Holy Spirit.” That sounds intimidating, so let me break it down.
You and I have been brought into God’s presence by Christ’s death and resurrection on the cross. This is called adoption. With this adoption, we gain the gift of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. The Holy Spirit helps us in many ways, including convicting us and leading us toward repentance. When we repent and turn away from our sin, we become more like Christ. So sanctification is our growth toward a life that imitates Christ; a life of holiness.
In the same way, finding freedom is growth toward health. We find freedom in health. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 says, “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Full freedom isn’t possible because of our sinful nature, but we can gain health.
If we look at Josh’s definition — that “freedom is having the ability to do what you ought to do” — we get a better grasp of how to view freedom. If we are free to do what we ought to do, we remove the barriers that keep us from doing what we ought to do.
Freedom, or health, looks a lot like being connected to the life of God.

Restoration

Christian counselor Michael Dye created an addiction recovery tool called the FASTER Scale. The scale identifies the stages people move through toward relapse, so they can see it coming and get proactive. The FASTER acronym stands for Forgetting Priorities, Anxiety, Speeding Up, Ticked Off, Exhausted, and Relapse.
The FASTER Scale focuses on restoration (accepting life on God’s terms, with trust, vulnerability, and gratitude). If we live in restoration, we live lives saturated with healthy relationships, vulnerability, intimacy, identifying and dealing with emotions, walking with the Spirit, and working through pain. These aspects create health, which produces freedom.
This freedom is based on connection with God and other people. No matter our state of health, we still experience temptation and sin. But if we are living in restoration and connection, our connectedness provides healthy ways of dealing with them. 
Often, to gain health or freedom, we must go to what hurt us in the first place: people. We learn to cope as people closest to us hurt us. But this woundedness creates isolation and barriers that keep us from living in intimate connection with God and others. To break down those barriers and return to health, we must learn to trust others and experience the intimacy that God intends us to enjoy.

Can we really gain freedom and health? Yes!

Walking in Freedom

I have been finding freedom and health for the past two years. It is unbelievably fulfilling to walk in health, because it is how God created me to experience life. Has it been hard to find health? Yes, but incredibly worth it.
I found health primarily by returning to my identity in Christ. I had to identify the root of the problem — my belief that I was not enough — and to experience my worth in Christ. I have had to process the pain in my past, and experience who I am in Christ through relationships with others. I have learned how to trust others with my fears.
Freedom is found when we live in health. It is characterized by vulnerability, connected relationships, intimacy, walking with the spirit, identifying and dealing with emotions, working through pain, and experiencing our worth in Christ.
Freedom is returning to our identity in Christ. Freedom is being less bound to the sins that entrap us. It is not always constant; it fluctuates day-to-day as we walk with others and navigate our sin-soaked world. We won’t find full freedom from sin here on earth, but we can find freedom from addiction. This is the hope that I and other addicts have, that freedom and health are possible. Here. Now. 
Christ came to redeem, and we cannot forget that. No matter the struggle, we have worth in and to Christ.
Your road to health may be hard, but take my word for it: Your experiencing intimacy with the Lord and others, and being who you were created to be, will satisfy your soul. It has mine. That is God’s design. That is freedom.

Interested in a list of ministries that help people to overcome porn? Click here.

Want to learn more?

> Need a Josh McDowell Ministry speaker at your church? Contact the speaking team.
> Josh has compiled decades of research here: The Porn Epidemic.
> Join the Resolution Movement!

Austin is part of the speaking team at Josh McDowell Ministry.

I love hearing the highlights of people’s lives, vacations, weekends, or even workdays. They are insights into people’s unique passions, joys, and personalities. In my two years traveling with Josh McDowell as his assistant, I experienced quite a few highlights.

But one event, in particular, still stands out to me: the Set Free Conference. There is an epidemic in the church today, and it all revolves around pornography.

Global Initiative to Expose Porn Addiction

Set Free, an initiative launched by Josh to educate, start conversation, and de-shame porn addiction, focused on a few major themes: What is pornography? What are its associated problems, consequences, and solutions? A global initiative, Set Free Conferences have been held in the U.S., Mexico, Argentina, Uruguay, and Singapore; attendees have heard from top speakers such as Dr. Donald Hilton, Jessica Harris, Ben Bennett, and Josh McDowell. 
Why was Set Free the highlight of this two-year period? Because of the needed global conversation about the pornography epidemic — but also because of the response from attendees. 
I’ve watched empowered pastors share excitement and become eager to teach what they’ve learned. I’ve seen moms and dads finally be able to understand their child’s struggle with porn. I’ve seen community leaders get fired up about starting recovery groups. And I’ve seen wounded, broken, humble people openly confess, through pouring tears, the porn addictions that have torn their lives apart.
The first two sections of the Set Free Conference were hard-hitters: the problem of porn, and its consequences. As attendees heard the mind-boggling stats and gut-wrenching repercussions, they were glued to the edge of their seats. As they learned that porn is the number one problem in the Church — globally — their reactions ranged from shock and anger to utter despair. 

When we find the courage to talk about that which we deem to be dirty and uncomfortable, shame can be broken, movements can be started, and people can take the initial steps towards freedom.

The Problem of Porn

Our culture is so sexually saturated that porn is now included in top-selling books, advertising, and social media. We don’t even realize how many pornographic images we are exposed to daily, without our even trying to see them.
Christians are just as tempted as non-believers to view porn, which is why pastor Charles R. Swindoll has called pornography the greatest cancer in the history of the Church. As Josh adds, “It’s available, accessible, affordable, anonymous, appealing, aggressive, and addictive.” Porn is affecting the majority of families in every church around the globe. This epidemic is destroying families; it’s now the root cause of 56 percent of divorces.
So what is pornography? A general description is that it’s “that which is designed to arouse or sexually excite.” Porn is not juvenile and harmless, like too many people generally think. It is hardcore, graphic, and disgusting.

Porn addiction is biological, relational, and spiritual. Solutions must address each aspect for us to gain freedom.

Why is it an epidemic? I’ll share my personal experience. As I told readers in my last post, I have battled an addiction to porn that started well before my teens. I know how porn addiction distorts every part of a person’s life. I know the tangible consequences of the degradation of human life. I know the misery of living an isolated and disconnected life, and the hopelessness of addiction.

Mind-Boggling Stats

The reach of the porn industry is mind-boggling. One study found that porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month. Porn now accounts for a third of all Internet traffic! More than 91 percent of men and 60 percent of women have reported consuming pornography in the past month.
But a lot of those viewers are young people, who got exposed to porn as early as eight years old! It’s just too easy to stumble on it on both cell phones and computers. In sharing my own story of woundedness, addiction, and journey toward freedom at the Set Free Conference, I’ve seen just how many young males — and increasingly young females — are struggling with addiction to porn. 
This breaks Josh’s heart; this crippling addiction is not what God intends for us. Josh has spent the past decade researching the problem, consequences, and solutions to pornography. Here are just a few startling statistics:

• 79 percent of men and 76 percent of women, ages 18-30, view pornography at least once a month.
• 64 percent of young people, ages 13-24, actively seek out pornography.
• 57 percent of pastors admit they struggle with porn.
• 60-72 percent of men and 24-30 percent of women in the Church are sex addicts. 

What these stats show is that our society has normalized porn. Research shows that teens and young adults consider failing to recycle more immoral than viewing pornography!

The Consequences of Porn

There’s a reason that sexual immorality is talked about so frequently in the Bible. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.” 
The consequences that pornography yields dismantle a person’s biological, spiritual, and relational self. Biologically, it rewires our brains, creating a lack of control, chemical dependency, and desensitization. Spiritually, it disconnects us from God. Isaiah 59:2 states that our iniquities have caused separation between us and God; that our sins have hidden His face from us. Viewing pornography is rooted in our lust and sexual immorality; it is adultery. It is sin, plain and simple. 
In Ephesians 4:17-19, we can read that giving ourselves over to sensuality cuts us off from the life of God. Relationally, pornography causes guilt, shame, and isolation. When we isolate, we cut ourselves off from one of God’s greatest gifts, our brothers and sisters in Christ. One of the consequences of the epidemic of pornography is that it leads to a skewed perspective of how to treat others. 

Pornography causes the belief that:

• It’s okay to use, abuse, or mistreat others for self-gratification.
• It’s okay to view and participate in the use, mistreatment, or abuse of a person.
• People can treat others with indifference.
• Pleasure guides principle, meaning sexual passion trumps moral objectives.

Pornography creates:

• A demonstrated lack of empathy toward others.
• Decreased interest in and/or declining performance in school and extracurricular activities.
• Sexual aggression, incest, and age-inappropriate relationships.
• Concentration problems, low motivation, depression, social anxiety, negative self-perceptions, and erectile dysfunction.

Sexual abuse is always a hot topic in the media. But it’s interesting to note how infrequently porn is cited as the source motivating that abuse. Check out the Porn Epidemic’s chapter on sexual harassment to learn more about sexual abuse and its tie to pornography.

Hope

Coming face-to-face with the reality of our sin should lead us not into isolation, but to the feet of our Heavenly Father. The weight of our sin is heavy, too heavy to bear alone. It is so easy to be caught up in the magnitude of this epidemic and lose hope. I have done so many times.
But the truth is, there is hope. 1 Peter 2:24 offers us good news: “He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.” 
It is easy to become discouraged in the shadow of a giant, but we can’t forget that we know the end of the story. Christ, the Son of God, took the form of a man to take our sins upon Himself. He died, but triumphantly rose to reunite us with our Heavenly Father. He offers us forgiveness and healing, if we are willing to place our trust and faith in Him. With His help, we can conquer any sin.
Hope motivated all the Set Free attendees who confessed their addiction for the first time. And there is hope in the midst of your child’s addition, your personal addiction, or those of your friends. 
Porn is currently an epidemic. But no problem is bigger than God. I have hope in the power of His healing the world. Because I’ve witnessed it and experienced it. Have hope!

Want to learn more?

• Want a Josh McDowell Ministry speaker to come to your church? 
• Want research? Josh has compiled decades of research here: The Porn Epidemic.
• A list of ministries that help people to overcome porn.
• Join the Resolution Movement!