Perhaps you are familiar with the Old Testament book of Ruth, a 4-chapter story layered with tragedy, blessings, and the reminder to trust God.

Naomi, a Hebrew, along with her husband and two grown sons, forsakes her hometown of Bethlehem to escape a famine. The family settles into nearby Moab (modern day Jordan), for about a decade. But Naomi’s husband and sons perish, leaving Naomi with a broken heart and two grieving Moabite daughters-in-law.

When Naomi hears that Bethlehem is again flush with food, she decides to return home — a rigorous 7-10 day journey across the desert, which she must make without companion or male protection. But one of her daughters-in-law, Ruth, stubbornly refuses to let Naomi forsake her: “For where you go, I will go.” When the women arrive safely in Bethlehem, Naomi laments to her old friends, “Don’t call me Naomi, call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter.”

Oh, Naomi, if only you could see the bigger story about to develop through your loyal daughter-in-law!

Through Ruth, God will restore Naomi’s joy, hope, and trust — and cement Ruth, a lowly foreigner, as a key player in Israel’s history. Let’s look at just three attributes that made Ruth usable by God.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

3 Qualities That Made Ruth Usable by God

Ruth Was a Woman of Commitment

We’re not told why Ruth chooses to stay with Naomi, rather than return to her own family. Perhaps she recognizes how difficult life is for poor widows, and doesn’t want Naomi to endure the hardship alone. What we do know is that Ruth feels deep affection for Naomi. “Entreat me not to leave thee,” she begs, “or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God; Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the Lord do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me.”

Ruth is all-in. 100 percent. No longing looks over her shoulder.

The contemporary Christian song Burn the Ships, by the band for King & Country, echoes Ruth’s decision to have no exit strategy:

Step into a new day.
We can rise up from the dust and walk away.
We can dance upon our heartache, yeah.
So light a match, leave the past, burn the ships.
And don’t you look back.

Ruth has a lot of time to reflect on her decision, as she and Naomi journey 50+ miles westward across the hot desert to get around the Dead Sea. But from the moment the last of the Moab dust is ground beneath the soles of her sandals, Ruth’s old life is done. Boxed up. Sealed with duct tape. With all bets on Bethlehem and the life she would find there. No comparing her new to her old, no lamenting that “life was better back home.” (A mindset, as an aside, that the Israelites groaning and moaning in the desert for 40 years should have adopted.)

Perhaps the saying “Faith like a child” is appropriate here, as Ruth is certainly trusting in a better future as she focuses on loyally serving and honoring her mother-in-law. (Hold on, Ruth! Just wait!)

Ruth Was a Woman of Courage

Imagine yourself as Ruth. You’ve lost your husband. And now your heart aches at the thought of losing your last connection to him, his mother. It’s an option you’re unwilling to consider. So you pack your overnight bag and water bottle and set off to see what unfolds with Naomi in her homeland. Only this time, you’ll be the foreigner. How will you feed and clothe yourself? Where will you find shelter? A new husband doesn’t seem likely. When Naomi dies, you’ll be left all alone. 

Despite her fears, Ruth heads out. Have you had to “pull a Ruth” yet in your own life? Have you been developing your courage to take these big steps?

Perhaps Ruth turns her back on all that she is familiar with because she realizes a truth we highlighted in our recent post on Simon Peter: we must courageously step out of the boat, onto the dark, choppy waters, to experience the bigger life God has for us. Our adventure often awaits beyond our comfort zone.

Ruth Was a Woman of Character

As Joy Burgess writes in her article on Ruth, “Ruth’s story is ordinary. Perhaps that’s what makes it so compelling. She doesn’t come from a famous family. She doesn’t have great riches or great position. Ruth is just a widow – one from an enemy nation, at that. Nothing is going in her favor, but she’s brave, and her faith never wavers. And yet the life of a foreign widow who has nothing becomes so important that it’s included in the Bible and her name recognized in the lineage of Jesus.”

God loves to use “nobodies” to create history. Remember Noah’s start? Gideon’s? David’s? Mary’s?

What Ruth has going for her is her character. We can discern who Ruth is through her words and actions as the story progresses. Ruth displays what the Bible calls the “fruit of the Spirit“: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Because of the woman Ruth chooses to be, Naomi’s people become her people, and Naomi’s God becomes her God. And she becomes actively usable by Him.

Through God’s provision, Ruth captures the heart of an older, wealthy “kinsman redeemer” related to Naomi. God uses Boaz’s integrity and generosity — his own developed character — to redeem and bless both women. At the birth of Ruth’s son, Naomi again takes joy in her name, which means “pleasantness.” (Way better than bitter.) Naomi had a few things to learn about character from her young daughter-in-law. And a few things to learn about God’s trustworthiness.

Becoming Like Ruth

It’s important that in Ruth, we see ourselves. As BibleStudyTools.com notes, “Ruth strikingly exemplifies the truth that participation in the coming kingdom of God is decided, not by blood and birth, but by the conformity of one’s life to the will of God through the ‘obedience that comes from faith.'”

It’s hard to see that good is coming, if all we feel is pain and abandonment. But we know that God is never idle. As Naomi tenderly cradles Ruth’s infant son, reaffirming her trust in God’s provision, she has no clue that the baby will one day become the grandfather of Israel’s most faithful king, David. It would surely have blown her mind to be told that also through this lineage, Jesus, the Savior of the World, would make His appearance to play His part in God’s master plan.

Like Naomi, we can’t always see how God is working in and through our lives. But we can choose to expect that He is doing good things — despite our circumstances.

NEXT STEPS:

> Do you want to have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
> We invite you to read Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter. This short apologetics classic examines the historical evidence of the live, death, and resurrection of Jesus.

Sheri writes and edits for Josh McDowell Ministry.

I used to think that marriage was the culmination of life. The best gift, ever. Once you got married, your fairy tale complete as you rode off into the sunset with your true love. (Thank you, Disney.) 

I’ve always been a sucker for a romantic comedy. I watch Hallmark movies all throughout the Christmas season because I love their neatly packaged happy endings. I’d love to have that happy ever after for myself. Alas, I have remained the side character in the romantic comedy; the girl who makes everyone laugh and helps her best friends find their true love.

Now I’m in my thirties, and instead of wondering, “How long must I wait?,” I’ve begun to ask a new question.

For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Is God Trustworthy?

My new question is, “Do I trust that God is always good and only gives me good gifts, as His Word promises?”

As I wrestled with this, I came to this revelation: My singleness isn’t a bad thing, because God always gives me what is best. I must emphasize that this realization did not come to me overnight, nor in a burning bush. It came through years of struggle, heart ache, tears, and prayers about being single.

Here are the things I know to be true about God: He is ALWAYS Good. He gives GOOD gifts to His children. He is ALWAYS loyal, faithful, loving, and kind toward us.

Scripture declares these promises:

Psalm 32:11: “So celebrate the goodness of God! He shows this kindness to everyone who is His.”

Nehemiah 9:20: “You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst.”

Psalm 100:5: “For the Lord is always good and ready to receive you. He’s so loving that it will amaze you, so kind that it will astound you! And He is famous for his faithfulness toward all. Everyone knows our God can be trusted, for he keeps his promises to every generation.”

If these verses are all true (Spoiler, they are), then it means my good, loyal, loving, and kind Heavenly Father has deemed that a husband is NOT a good gift for me right now. So it’s okay that I’m single! I know that sounds crazy coming from a girl who cries at happy endings.

But the more I walk with Jesus, the more I want His best for me. I trust that God will bring me a spouse if and when it is HIS good gift for me. Right now; however, He has given me a beautiful gift of singleness.

The Pressure To Conform

Another thing I’ve realized: people don’t know know how to respond to adult singles. Not our families, friends, and co-workers, and not the Church.

The Church is used to the cultural norm in which people marry in their twenties and start having babies. So, when someone doesn’t fit into the norm, the Church isn’t quite sure where to place them. Young adults ministry is too young, and the older singles are too old.  It’s not for lack of care or love for its people. They recognize the problem, but they just don’t know what the solution is.

The Church has taught me to wait on the Lord and as I have wrestled with how to wait well, I’ve come to this revelation: STOP WAITING and START LIVING LIFE in the abundance God gives freely.

Pastors aren’t the only ones stumped with what to do with older singles. I recognize that people, in general, have the best of intentions when they say things to me like, “It will happen when you least expect it!” and “Have you tried online dating?” It’s 2020, people! Of course I’ve tried online dating…

Their comments, while meant in love, are void of the power of God. It’s uncomfortable for them to think that God might be writing a different, unique story for me.

The Ultimate Happy Ending

We all must remember that our best gift and happy ending is not in gaining a spouse. It’s in one day meeting Jesus face-to-face, and staying in perfect relationship with Him for eternity! That’s the ultimate happy ending!

Scripture reminds us that:

James 1:17: “Every gift God freely gives us is good and perfect, streaming down from the Father of lights, who shines from the heavens with no hidden shadow or darkness and is never subject to change.”

1 Corinthians 7:17: “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them.”

Our season of being single is simply God’s gift to us to experience deep intimacy and fulfillment in Him.

Receive The Good Gift

I still live with the expectant hope of a spouse, as God has not removed my desire. If it remains your desire as well, I encourage you to keep praying and believing for a spouse. Sometimes, I forget how blessed I am where God has me and wish He would bring me a husband. But the reality is that Scripture does NOT PROMISE marriage. So I have to stop waiting around for it and live in the abundance God has for me.

I’m going to daily lay my desires at the feet of Jesus, praying with faith that He will provide me with all the good gifts He has for me. But I am not going to let life pass me by. I will never give up on living an adventure with the Lord. I will LIVE in full abundance every day, whether my singleness lasts for months, years, or until my last breath.

I hope you will, too. Let us press into the presence of God, abiding with Him as we  live in the fullness His Word promises. Whatever season we’re in, single or not, God wants us to live life to the fullest. It is our current leading role.

Living in Abundance

Here are a few ways to help you LIVE the abundant life God has for you:

> Get HEALTHY: Spend some time with the Lord and ask Him to reveal areas in your life where old hurts and unhealthy habits are keeping you from freedom. Sometimes we find ourselves walking around so wounded that we wouldn’t recognize a gift from the Lord if it hit us between the eyes. Perhaps we need to seek counseling? Or find a trustworthy mentor in our church that will speak God’s truth into our lives?

>  Set BOUNDARIES: As a single person in the church, I can tell you from personal experience that boundaries are critical! The church has a habit of confusing the gift of singleness with the gift of volunteering. If you’re not careful, your church will suck the life right out of you because they assume you have a lot of time to give. Don’t make yourself available for every volunteer need in your church, or you’ll burn out.

>  DO the things: Each year, I ask the Lord for a word. He recently whispered to my spirit, “Do the things.” If we live in a “waiting” mindset, we run the risk of stalling out. So get moving! Choose ONE thing on your bucket list, and GO DO IT! Maybe it’s buying a house, starting your own business, following your dream of ministry, or traveling (Yes, please!). Time is too precious to wait on another person to go do things.

> OPEN the Gifts: It’s like Christmas time has come and gone, and you’ve left beautifully wrapped gifts under the tree. Open them to see what God has for you in your singleness. Spend time with the Lord in His Word to discover where He might be guiding you to spend your energy and time.

NEXT STEPS:

• Do you have a relationship with Jesus? Start here.
• A helpful article, “Single, But Still Complete,” by Pastor Tony Evans.
• Check out this article, too: “Why I’m Still Single This Valentine’s Day.”
• Listen to Dr. Henry Cloud talk about The Gift of Singleness.

ASHLEY IS PART OF THE DEVELOPMENT TEAM AT JOSH MCDOWELL MINISTRY.
2023 UPDATE: ASHLEY IS NOW HAPPILY MARRIED!

Welcome! Let’s talk about learning to accept and appreciate ourselves, so we can bravely show up authentically. 

Become Authentic

How can I put this? Hmmm … some of us are totally faking it. Often because we fear rejection. But to fully experience and share God’s love and grace, we must get to where we can embrace our whole package — what we self-judge to be the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

Here’s the truth: God loves every bit of our quirky selves! Love is central to what being a Christian is really all about. You and I are here to 1) LOVE God, and 2) LOVE others. Neither of which we can fully do if we’re wasting time fighting who He made us to be to reflect His love.

In his book Waking the Dead: The Glory of a Heart Fully Alive, John Eldredge notes, “You cannot love another person from a false self. You cannot love another while you are still hiding. How can you help them to freedom while you remain captive? You cannot love another unless you offer your heart.”

Ah, you’re thinking, but I’ve learned to hide my heart. Because it hurts too much when others tell me I’m not good enough as I am.

The Right Perspective

Too often we dislike… despise… hate… parts of ourselves. WHY???

Here’s a thought:
Maybe the brashness you hate in yourself is actually courage. Maybe the loudness you hate in yourself is actually courage. Maybe your tendency of being a bull in a china shop is actually courage. Or could be, if you weren’t too busy hiding your authentic self…

The million-dollar question: Who told us to not embrace and appreciate these parts of ourselves?

God Designed Our Quirks

In her book Why Your Weirdness is Wonderful, speaker and life coach Laurie Wallin adds, “Insecurity happens when we’re trying to live someone else’s quirks. Borrowed weirdness can’t work wonderfully in us because it’s meant for someone else.”

I now understand that my mom, who criticized me daily during my childhood, did the best she could. My high energy undid her. But rather than taking the time to help me to still feel good about my naturally loud bent, her critiques led me to believe that I was defective. Not enough as I am.

I went from being a confident kid to a people pleaser to the MAX. I pivoted like a chameleon, giving people whatever color of me they wanted, so that I would feel momentarily accepted. But inside I was often angry at having to feel that I couldn’t be myself. Can you relate??

But God KNEW what He was doing when He designed us. God DESIGNED us to add our authentic selves to the world.

As Laurie puts it so well, “God didn’t give us our gifts to paint them over with someone else’s. The unique tendencies in you and me are meant to shine in a hue all their own, and in doing so, bring a little more clarity to the full-color beauty of the God we reveal to the world.”

Welcome to another post in our new year-long blog series, “Journey Together,” where we answer questions about God, relationships, and life!

Hi there! We’re Jennifer Davis and Anne Clark. Having the opportunity to work with Josh McDowell, we’ve learned just how important self-image is. Josh says it affects every relationship in our lives. For that reason, we’re going to chat about how to develop a healthy self-image and why it’s so important. Josh has written a book on the topic called See Yourself as God Sees You, which has positively impacted lives around the world. Before we get started, let’s hear Josh share why he felt compelled to write it.

Says Josh….

“I believe that one of the key factors in life, especially in a Christian view, is relationships. And I believe a person’s [unhealthy] self-image is a basic problem in loving, intimate, relationships. Why? If you don’t see yourself as God sees you, who He created you to be, it’s very hard for you to see someone else in a way that God created them and their value in life. Part of a relationship is being able to see another person for who they are. You need to know who you are in God’s view, what God says about you as His created being, then you’ll understand more about the other person. Second, if you are not yourself, then you’re never really going to be intimate with and be known by someone else because you’re always building up a facade to cover up [who] you think you really are. So, the more I see myself as God sees me, the more I can be open to other people and real.”

Why This Truth Matters

ANNE: I can so relate to what Josh says! I became a believer at 16, when I accepted Christ into my life as my Savior. What I didn’t conceive of was the deep love God has for me. Even though the Bible says that God is love, it never really became personal and real to me until I went through a situation in which I became desperate for direction from Him. That life event drew me to His Word, in a more in-depth way than ever before, and I began to see the theme of God’s love throughout the Bible. God’s steadfast and faithful love became so personal to me, in a way that my background and culture had not allowed to sink in. That journey to learn the truth and experience His deep love for me changed my life!

JENNIFER: You said something that really resonated with me. You mentioned culture, and how it contributes to how we view ourselves.

ANNE: It’s so strong.

JENNIFER: Yes! There’s often an expectation of “If I get this car, I’m going to be more valuable,” “If I get this job, I’ll be more valuable, “If I look better, I’ll be more valuable.”

ANNE: Oh, skinnier for sure. 

JENNIFER: That’s right!

ANNE: Culture does try to define us. Even all the way back to, as Josh talks about in See Yourself as God Sees You, the voices that we hear growing up, from our parents and other family members. Josh speaks from a standpoint of authority, considering his really painful childhood. It’s so impactful how he brings God’s truth and lays it over what culture tells us.

JENNIFER: He does that very well.

ANNE: It brings to light how the Bible says no matter what culture says to us or about us, His Word is always true, and along with His love, it never changes. In his book, Josh did a fantastic job of not only giving us his own insight, but also using scripture to prove his point, validating his message.

JENNIFER: I agree, and honestly I have never heard self-image described in such a profound way. Josh has a beautiful way of illuminating God’s truth in relatable and personal ways, as I’ve never heard before.

ANNE: Absolutely.

JENNIFER: Well that’s all the time we have; I wish we had more! There is so much more we could say about how valuable we are through God’s eyes. We encourage you to grab a copy of  See Yourself as God Sees You. It really opened my eyes to the stark difference between my false identity — derived from unhealthy influences — and my true identity, based on who God says I am. Thanks for watching!

Read Sample Pages!

It’s not always easy for us to love and accept ourselves. Life has probably convinced you that your identity is shaped by how you look, how you perform, and what you achieve. But in See Yourself As God Sees You, you will discover the truth: that only God’s view of you matters.

The great news: Our self-image should be tied to how God sees us. He sees YOU as loved, accepted, and valuable. Regardless of your past, God sees you for who you really are — and He likes what He sees! This book works well in Book Clubs; the discussion questions help readers to understand and apply what they learn.

Jen Davis is the Associate Director of the Speaker Team with Josh McDowell Ministry.

Moms, you deserve honor and affirmation every day!

“Hi, Mom!”

You know what’s interesting to me? That in all my years of watching sports, whenever the television camera keyed in on a player on the bench, I only ever heard ONE player say, “Hi, Dad!” EVERY other time the player said, “Hi, Mom!” You wanna know why that is?

Because of the special role moms play in the heart, memory, and life of their children.

Bottom line, moms build special connections with their kids because they “get” the value of relationship. Much more than dads do — though we try! Perhaps because God created moms to be nurturers, they seem to understand that relationship trumps rules. Here’s the truth: rules without relationship lead to rebellion. But when rules stem from relationship, kids listen!

When I think back on my childhood, my dad was hardly ever around for me — or if he was around, he was drunk. But I so clearly remember all the times my mother was there for me. She stood in the gap, ensuring that I felt wanted and loved. I think that’s the special ministry of moms: the ability to really be there for their kids, particularly if they’re sensitive to God’s leading.

“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.” ~ Proverbs 1:8-9

My wife, Dottie, really helped me to minister to our children as they grew up. And she gave me the huge gift of always elevating me in the presence of our children. Moms, that’s a terrific thing to do for your children, especially if their dad can’t be around as much because of work, ministry, or other reasons! Help your children to feel loved by their father — especially when he is incapable of showing it — and they’ll love you even more for it.

I know that you single moms carry a heavy burden, but you can excel at being the primary foundation in your children’s lives by building a strong bond based on availability, love, and trust. But don’t hesitate to let others help you to carry this load. There are, for example, so many older people without grandchildren in their lives who would love to have a shot at filling the role!

Moms, everywhere, I encourage you to begin building strong relationships with your kids early, and to dig in and keep the relationship going as they grow (even through the teen years when it feels like they’re not listening to you!), so you’ll get to savor the thrill of having a tremendous, life-long impact in their lives. I so enjoy spending time with my now-adult kids and their children!

Moms, I salute you!

Josh

I’ve been married to my lovely bride, Dottie, for nearly half a century now (wow!). She is an excellent mother to our kids because she always strives to be a conduit of God’s grace, love, and patience. Our kids adore her — as do I!

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’” ~Proverbs 31:28-31

P.S. Want to know my 7 A’s of Parenting? I’ve made a bunch of short videos in which I share these valuable parenting tips I learned over the years with my kids. My seven tips cover the topics of Affirmation, Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Approach Their World, and Accountability. Check them out!

Ladies, this is the last post for our series exploring our true identity. We’ve covered a lot of ground over the past 12 weeks!

In this post let’s talk about our being useable by God. To get there, we need to see ourselves like God does: FORGIVEN. ACCEPTED. WANTED. CHERISHED. UNDERSTOOD. UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED.

No matter how long it takes us to fully accept these truths, we MUST get there. Because God has important things for us to do. Special assignments he has planned for us to do. So how do we position ourselves to be useable by God?

We start by ACCEPTING that we ARE who God says we are!

It’s vital that we build our self-identity from God’s perspective. Not who the world might tell us we are. But we God SAYS we are. #endofstory

But Am I Really Useable?

But many Christian women walk around believing that they’re not good enough to represent Jesus. “I have to get my life together first,” they say.

But this is faulty logic. We’ll never get our act completely together, because we’re human. With sinful natures.

The more we choose to see ourselves as God does, the less we’ll get stalled by our human messiness. God is perfectly fine with using us while we’re “in process.” Maturing. Growing. Looking more like Jesus.

He just asks that we be willing to be used. Even when our knees are knocking!

Remember Moses? He couldn’t talk well, but God still used him. And look at Nick Vujicic, who was born without arms and legs. God is using Nick’s vulnerability and trust in him to reach people all around the globe!

God made YOU, knowing exactly what he was getting when he did so, because he has YOU in mind for special assignments!

Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before he even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. We CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Ladies, in this blog series exploring our true identity, be reminded of this truth: YOU are unconditionally, unceasingly, fully loved by God right now and forever!

To begin to walk in the assurance of this amazing gift, you have to choose to accept His love. Stop fighting God on His love song to you. If you’ve had few people love you well, getting there might be hard. If your relationship with your own dad is difficult, for example, it might be über hard for you to accept that God’s love is unconditional. You might truly struggle with accepting His affection.
But no matter what, God’s love is stuck to us like Super Glue. We have this promise in Romans 8: NOTHING can separate us from God’s love for us. Not the present, not the past, not the future. Not what we said, or what we don’t say. Not what we did, or what we don’t do. God’s love is like Velcro. Get used to the idea: You are fully loved. Lean gratefully into this truth!
In remembering Christ on the cross, pastor Tim Keller says:

“If He wouldn’t abandon you when hell itself was coming down on Him, and if that didn’t separate His love from us, you think your having a bad week is going to do it? If someone’s going to spend a billion dollars on your present, do you think he’s going to skimp on the wrapping paper? This is the love you’ve been looking for all your life.“

We Are Fully Loved!

My favorite Bible verse that talks about the depth of God’s love is in Psalm 103: “For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him.” “You choose me?” I respond to God in amazement. “You know all about me, my weaknesses, my faithlessness, my selfishness, and you still love me as I am? Wow!”
Too many of us are trying to earn God’s love. We think, “I need to straighten out my life before You can accept me as I am.” But this thinking is NOT biblical. As the apostle Paul wrote, “It is by grace that you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Gals, our “do” is not our “who.” Just look at the example of the thief on the cross next to Jesus.

Jesus didn’t tell the man, “Sorry, dude, you had your chance and screwed up. I don’t accept you.” How did Jesus respond to the thief? He fully embraced him, promising him that they would be together in heaven! The repentant sinner could do nothing at that point to improve his chances of being found “good enough” — but he was!
So how about you and I believe that God’s promise of unconditional love is reliable? As author Priscilla Shirer says, God accepts us, and patiently works in us for us to become women who look more like Him. We only get there by believing in the vision He holds for us: fully loved and accepted right where we are right now. God is our biggest fan and cheerleader.

As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child. I have chosen you.” Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God had you on His mind before you were even born? Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and noggin’.

It may take a lot of determination on your part, based on what has happened to you in life at the hands of other people. But as you begin to accept just how fully loved you are in God’s eyes, you WILL be able to break through the fear and doubt that keep you from accepting His pure love.

Gals, we must get there and here’s why: it is ONLY when we accept that we are fully loved that we can then love others well. We don’t want to miss out on that!

This blog series is based on Josh McDowell’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Ladies, in this series exploring our true identity, let’s remind ourselves that there is NOTHING we can do that will change God’s view of our incredible worth and value.

Cindy, a 17-year-old wrote a letter to Josh McDowell, saying:

“I’m writing to you because I’m alone and confused. I had sex with my boyfriend, thinking I owed it to him. About four months later I learned I was pregnant. He left me. I have been feeling so guilty. How can God love me after what I’ve done? Can God really love me and forgive me? Please write back.”

What Cindy has yet to let sink deep into her soul is that when Jesus died on the cross, so did ALL of her sins. Cindy is questioning her ability to be forgiven because she’s viewing herself through the lens of humanity. We humans have a hard time with forgiveness, but for God it’s a breeze. We ask, He forgives.

And He FORGETS. Cindy was FULLY forgiven the moment she asked. Not a little forgiven, not three-quarters forgiven. FULLY forgiven, just like God promises in His Word.

As 1 John 1:9 says, “If we freely admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just (true to His own natures and promises) and will forgive our sins and continuously cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Our sin does not affect our worthiness in God’s eyes. Is that amazing grace, or what??

Several centuries ago, a Protestant scholar named Morena was forced into exile in Italy. Falling into poverty, Morena became gravely ill. He was taken to a paupers’ hospital where physicians, assuming the wretched-looking patient was uneducated, began conversing in Latin among themselves at his bedside.

“This worthless creature is going to die anyway,” they said. “So let’s try an experiment on him.”
Morena, of course, knew Latin almost as well as his native language. Summoning his strength, he raised himself up and said to the surprised physicians, “How can you call ‘worthless’ someone for whom Jesus died?”

Now *that* is the right question!

God’s Ceaseless Love Determines Our Worth

Our society loves to define who is and is not “worthy” and “special” and “important.” Often, the criteria it uses is the status or financial standing a person has. Celebrities and athletes, for example, are typically viewed as having tremendous value in our society. But is Madonna really more worthy of kindness and respect than a homeless person?

As Morena clearly understood, our value is not determined by what we have or do. We are valuable simply because God says we are. God couldn’t care less how much cash we’re banking, or the label on our car or clothing, because our efforts and accolades aren’t what get us into right relationship with Him or heaven.

As the apostle Peter remarked, “For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom He paid was not MERE gold or silver. He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God” (1 Peter 1:18-19).

Jesus died for everyone; no argument there. But if we fail to grasp that He would have still willingly died for JUST one of us, His sacrifice will fail to deeply impact our heart, soul, and mind. God doesn’t see a sea of humanity when He looks at the world. He sees US. You. Me. Every freckle on our face, every sorrow in our heart. Every thought we’ll ever have.

Think of it this way. When you sign up for insurance at your job, you enroll in a group plan, right? But the plan isn’t written JUST for you. Rather, it covers a wide range of benefits and services designed to cover the needs of all the people on the plan. The price you pay for the monthly premium reflects what the insurer thinks it has to charge to cover everyone for the time specified. And the insurer may deny you some benefits and services you really need, if it deems the costs to be too high. (Profit is an insurer’s bottom line.)

In a sense, we could consider Jesus’s sacrifice for our sins to be group coverage as well. But His plan is completely focused on each of us as individuals. He knows exactly what you need…and what I need…and has already fully covered the expense. No ailment (sin) is too expensive for Him. He’ll never decline our claim!

We ARE Fully Forgiven!

Are you still rejecting Jesus’s sacrifice of atonement for your sins? Do you find it hard to believe that God continues to forgive you daily for your slips?

Some Christians are fully convinced that they have sinned too much, too long, or too greatly to be forgiven. Sadly, some even believe they have used up their last “Forgiveness” card.

But this belief isn’t biblical. God NEVER sets limits on restoring us to Himself. Any condemnation we feel after asking for forgiveness is condemnation we place on ourselves. Granted, some churches struggle with the concept of grace. “I can never been fully sure that I’ll go to heaven,” one guy told me once. When I asked why not, he said, “Because who knows if there’s something God is mad at me about.” That poor guy! He is experiencing none of the peace Jesus died for him to have.

Some Bible verses that would help him to trust in God’s mercy and goodness:

“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.” Isaiah 1:18

“…as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Isaiah 43:25

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9

I love how Joyce Meyer put it during one of her seminars: “I would love to be perfect every day. That’s my plan when I get up … it don’t last long, but that’s my plan.” She adds, “I suffered from guilt and condemnation for so many years. I didn’t feel right if I didn’t feel bad. I was petrified to believe that I didn’t have to persecute myself for two or three days when I sinned.”

Ladies, we don’t have to be insecure about God’s acceptance of us. It’s a given that we’ll sin, despite our best efforts to live lives that please God. But when we do, let us be prompt in seeking God’s forgiveness, and then let us let ourselves off the hook like God does. Transforming our sense of identity means forgiving ourselves for screw ups by accepting God’s limitless capacity to forgive us.

You are fully forgiven the moment you ask. Believe it!

Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

In this post exploring our true identity, let’s look at the topic of transformation. God uses other believers to help us to transform our self-image, so that we are able to see ourselves as God sees us.

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 the Bible tells us that we become a “new creation” when we accept Jesus as Lord. That verse can cause us to wonder if our conversion stuck, if we find ourselves still doing some of the things we did before we accepted Christ. How, we ask, our heads hanging in guilt and shame, can we be “new,” if we’re still doing the “old”?

We have to understand that our becoming like Jesus is a life-long process.

Although the Holy Spirit instantly begins to stir within us, we’re still “us.” Getting saved doesn’t instantly remove our bad habits and stinkin’ thinking. We slowly change as we allow God to work within us.

So if I’m in the habit of lying to others, I don’t instantly become someone who can be counted on to be truthful. If you view yourself as “damaged goods,” you won’t instantly view yourself as healthy and whole. If you know a friend who struggles with feeling worthy of God’s grace, she will continue to struggle until she chooses to walk confidently in God’s unconditional love. Our transformation requires that will be willing participants with Him.

One way that God works to transform us into His image is through other people. The story of Lazarus, found in the New Testament book of John, wonderfully illustrates how God uses people to accomplish the transformative process.

With a Little Help From Our Friends

When Jesus approached the tomb of his dead friend Lazarus, He cried out, “Lazarus, come out!” At His command, the man who had been dead for four days gained new life. As the amazed crowd looked on, Lazarus hobbled out of the tomb, wrapped like a mummy in his linen burial shroud.

Notice that the grave clothes did not fall off of Lazarus the moment Christ called him out.

Jesus could have chosen to have Lazarus bust out of his grave clothes in a dazzling display of power like the Incredible Hulk. But He didn’t. He chose to involve Lazarus’s friends and family in the transformation process by saying: “Unwrap him and let him go!”

When we become Christians, Christ gives us new life. “Step into the new life I have prepared for you!” He cries. But, like Lazarus, we emerge from the tomb of our past shrouded in — and constricted by — our grave clothes. We need help in casting them aside to walk into our new life.

To transform our sense of identity, we must surround ourselves with people who trust that God is doing a new work in us. Transformational environments include people who mirror the love and acceptance God holds for us.

Transforming Through Environment

What does an ideal transformational environment look like?

An environment that helps us to transform includes people who model the truth about who you are in Christ.

You need to spend quality time with people who clearly see that they are loved, valuable, and useful to God and others. People who are confident in who they are in Christ radiate an intimate relationship with God and genuinely enjoy serving Him. They help you to desire both, as well.

An environment that helps us to transform uses Scripture to clearly teach the truth about our identity in Christ.

We read, memorize, and meditate on the Bible primarily to get in touch with God’s heart. The more we know God’s heart, the more clearly we see that we are lovable, valuable, and competent in His eyes. The Bible is the basis of our Christian walk; every word is God’s truth to us.

An environment that helps us to transform provides a context of loving, intimate relationships that mirror God’s love for us.

As we see others act with open-hearted generosity, we learn to give ourselves away. When we see others forgive each other, we learn to forgive like Christ. As others model selflessness for us, we learn the joy of serving the way Christ served others. In transformational environments, we are buoyed, but we also buoy others. As a pastor perfectly put it in one Sunday sermon: “Some days I have faith, and you do not. Other days I lack faith, and I need some of yours.”

A note about churches: don’t expect them to be perfect. Churches are full of messy people, like you and me. But some churches love to wallow in the burial clothes, rather than tossing them off. If your church chooses to focus on condemnation rather than restitution, run to find one that presses into God’s amazing offer of new life through Him.

Step out of the grave and into God’s grace!

You are redeemed, you are forgiven, you are sealed in Christ with the Holy Spirit. Remember that you are God’s workmanship, you are a member of Christ’s body, you are Christ’s friend. You may approach God with boldness, freedom, and confidence. You are being transformed!

Our True Personal Identity

Part of rightly understanding our true personal identity requires that we know how God sees us. As our loving creator, God says two things to us: “You are my child,” and “You are chosen.” Do you sense God’s heart toward you? Can you wrap you mind around the truth that God was thinking about you before He even created the world?

Let that truth sink into the depth of your heart and mind. It may take a lot of determination on your part, but as you begin to realize just how valuable you are in God’s eyes, you will be able to break the chains that keep you from accepting and loving yourself. Ladies, we CAN drop the burden of what other people think—and the judgments we hold for ourselves!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!

Ladies, God says our “Do” is NOT our “Who”! No matter our actions, God says we’re fully lovable, valuable, and competent.

In this post in our series exploring our true identity, let’s look at why some Christians are unable to make progress in their Christian walk. Take Susan, for example. Susan was involved in full-time Christian ministry, but found it nearly impossible to carry on her work. Paralyzed by a deep sense of unworthiness, Susan felt out of place in a Christian organization. Why? She was convinced she would be fired if her co-workers found out about her past.

Before becoming a Christian, Susan had had numerous affairs, and even an abortion. Though her behavior had changed dramatically since accepting Christ, Susan’s inner identity had not changed. God had forgiven and redeemed her, but Susan still saw herself as morally bankrupt. Unworthy. Shameful. Incompetent. Not at all lovable. Susan didn’t trust in God’s grace, so she trusted even less that she would receive grace from her co-workers. Because she choose to hold onto her shame, Susan was unable to bask in the gift of God’s redemption and acceptance.

Susan needs to wrap her head around this TRUTH: God accepts our messes, and uses them to help others. The past that Susan is so afraid may come to light, is likely the very testimony God wants to use in her life for His glory.

God Wants to Change Us

Susan isn’t alone in her self-bondage. Many women turn to Jesus, knowing they want and need His unconditional love and grace. Yet they can’t quite make themselves believe that they are lovable enough to deserve it. They try praying more, serving more, and reading their Bible more, but still feel defeated and discouraged.

Here’s why: If we refuse to see ourselves as God sees us, we will continue to try to “earn” our relationship with Jesus.

Think of your Christian walk like a renovation project. God is working on your old crumbling foundation, tired wallpaper, stained carpets, and mildewed walls. But if you fight God on the process — by not believing that He loves you and has planned good things for you — your renovation will only limp along.

Think of the Israelites in the desert. They turned what could have been a very short journey into 40 years of wandering. Stubborn bunch! I don’t know about you, but I sure want to give God access to move in my life much, much, faster.

Oh, our exteriors might look great, because WE have prettied them up by our own efforts. But the insides of our houses remain dark and dank, because we’ve not allowed Christ to turn on the floor lamps He has already plugged in. It’s like we’ve been given all the electricity we’ll ever need, but we refuse to flip the switch on the circuit breaker!

Have you been here? Are you here now? Holding God at arm’s length because YOU have decided that you’re not yet good enough … clean enough … worthy enough to believe in and trust the Creator of the Universe when he says, “COME! YOU ARE ENOUGH AS YOU ARE!”

God will spend every day of our lives partnering with us to make us more like Him — but we have to allow Him access. God never forces our relationship. How it must break His heart to have us so near, and yet watch us struggle to keep Him at arm’s length. Sometimes I actually get a mental picture of God wanting to wrap me in an amazing bear hug, but I’m too busy bobbing and ducking.

If we continue to refuse to see ourselves as God see us, our shaky foundations will render our attempts at Christian growth ineffective. We must remember that our “do” never determines our “who” in God’s eyes.

We have to stop holding on to personal identities that we base on what we’ve done in the past.

Three Truths About YOU

Truth #1: YOU are LOVABLE.

You may have grown up feeling ignored, unwanted, despised, or even hated. The people who communicated these messages to you were wrong. God’s Word says that He lovingly made YOU and that you are eternally lovable. Last week, when we talked about the comparison trap, we shared that we often sink into depression when we rank ourselves as lacking or less than, when compared to others. The Good News: God says that YOU are uniquely gifted, uniquely purposed, a one-of-a-kind creation that He birthed for good plans and good purposes. Only YOU can do the things He has in mind for you!

God doesn’t say, “I will love you when….” God says, “I LOVE YOU NOW, JUST AS YOU ARE!”

If you grew up in a household in which you got the message that you were not enough and not wanted, know that you CAN throw off that pain and shame by stepping fully into the lovelight of Jesus. You can claim, “God says it and I believe it!” — or you can continue (as I did for years), to walk around hurting — and hurting other people. Ladies, your negative thoughts and feelings are not truthful. But God’s Word is.

Truth #2. YOU are VALUABLE.

Think you’re not valuable? Well, then, how do you explain the fact that the Creator of the Universe came to earth in human form and willingly suffered excruciating pain and humiliation to redeem your sin? So that NOTHING would ever be able to separate YOU from His grace and love.

God sees every part of you — every thought you’ve ever had and ever will, every action you’ve ever made and ever will — and says, “I SEE YOU AS REDEEMED!”

God wants a relationship with YOU. Get this truth deep into your soul, and into your head: Even if YOU were the ONLY person that Christ needed to die for, He would have done it. YOU are worth His sacrifice. He loves you that much! If God views you that valuable, you do Him and yourself a disservice by allowing any human to tell you otherwise. God’s opinion of you is the only one that matters. Because it’s the only correct opinion.

Truth #3: YOU are COMPETENT.

If you see yourself negatively, you can change your thoughts. God’s Word says that GOD TRUSTS YOU enough that to handle the tasks of eternal proportion that He planned upon your birth.

We’ve all works in progress. We will continue to screw up, because we’re human. But our “who” is truly not our “do” in God’s eyes. Don’t allow the devil to keep whispering in your ear that you’re a big mess and you should just give up on yourself and God.

God says you are lovable, valuable, competent. Choose to accept it!

This blog series is based on Josh’s book See Yourself as God Sees You. It is our prayer that during this series you come to recognize and accept your true personal identity! God couldn’t love you more!