For 50+ years, Josh McDowell Ministry has been leading seekers into a deeper knowledge of God’s truth and power. We offer you our accumulated knowledge and research to help you find truth and encouragement to live a healthy and whole life in Christ.

Who says your Christian testimony has to be huge for it to have value?

Listen as Austin shares what our testimony is really intended to do in the lives of others: highlight Jesus, not ourselves. Your hope in Christ might be the very encouragement a friend or family member needs to hear to get through the pandemic.

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> We invite you to read Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter. This short apologetics classic examines evidence about Jesus.

Austin is part of the speaking team at Josh McDowell Ministry.

I remember years ago when I tuned into a message by a Christian speaker who was addressing guilt…

He asked the audience a simple question: “How many of you have trouble dealing with your past?” There was a pause. He continued. “You know why? It’s because you don’t believe it’s been dealt with already.” He was referring to the sacrifice that Jesus made to remove all of our guilt and shame.

Sometimes our guilt can run so deep, that this simple truth just doesn’t seem possible. We don’t feel any better. In fact, maybe statements like that make you feel even more guilty because it’s supposed to work. I have nothing against these simple statements of truth, but in most cases it takes time to heal and to see yourself with a healthy self-image and identity. We must keep this in mind as we feed on a healthy diet of the Gospel message.

It helps to identify that there is a distinction between guilt and shame.

Maybe you have heard this before: Guilt is a feeling that you have done wrong and deserve punishment. Shame is feeling that you are wrong because of the things you have done. These feelings often mix together, though shame tends to be the bigger issue. Josh McDowell Ministry speaker Ben Bennett has written some helpful articles on shame here and here.

Three helpful tips specific to guilt:

1. You don’t need to feel not guilty in order to be not guilty.

The Bible tells us that guilt is a condition objectively true or false for a person, and is directly connected to sin. Those who sin are guilty of death (Romans 6:23). Guilt is not a feeling; it is a verdict. The judge is the one who decides, not you. We may experience feelings, but the reality is based on an objective standard, not our feelings.

The Bible is clear that those who have confessed their sins to Jesus are forgiven of their sins.

This forgiveness is not accomplished by our feelings, emotions, or the degree of our faith. It is because Jesus is “faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Our judge has decided. Still, some people think that they have to feel not guilty in order to be right with God. That’s simply not true.

If you have confessed your sins to God and trust in the saving power of Jesus to remove your sins, you are washed, justified, sanctified, and set free from all of your sin and guilt (1 Corinthians 6:11). It is a bonafide fact of your reality in Christ, despite your feelings. This truth is the first step in finding freedom from feeling guilty.

2. Guilt is an invitation to abide with God who heals us.

Earlier I used a “judge” metaphor. God is the judge who has declared us innocent. This metaphor can be helpful, but it also creates a mental conflict: Nobody hears this and thinks, “Thank heavens! Now I can spend time in a wonderful and intimate relationship with my judge!”

Several months ago, a woman told me that she felt guilty for something she did in the past. She was desperate to get rid of her feelings of guilt. I appreciated her willingness to make things right, but I wondered if her sole motive was her desire to “get God off my back.”

We often think: As long as I don’t have a guilty conscience, I don’t have to worry about God and I can get on with my life.

This is wrong thinking on so many levels, but the idea can easily find life in the subconscious of many Christians. Instead of running to God — the only one who can heal us from guilt — we hide like Adam and Eve. The reality is that our feelings of guilt is a reason to press harder into our relationship with God. He is prepared to receive us in love and to help us along the way. He isn’t afraid of our mess.

3. Forgiveness with God is not the same as forgiveness with another person.

Sometimes we really do need to take steps to make things right. We are already right with God when we confess our sins, but what about our standing with others?

Our feelings of guilt may actually be conviction from the Holy Spirit to make things right. If you feel guilty because of something you did against another person, have you done your part to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness? Even if this person was 97 percent wrong, and you were only 3 percent wrong, God says you are still responsible to seek forgiveness for your part.

God calls us to live at peace with others as much as we are able (Romans 12:18). To seek forgiveness from another person is one of the hardest things you may ever do. But it can also be completely liberating. Even if the relationship is not fixed, you will know that you have done your part, and you can take joy in knowing that your actions have pleased God.

For more on knowing God personally, check out this really good info.
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In the midst of addiction, our hope for freedom can be clouded by a loss of control, depression, and isolation. From personal experience, the light at the end of the tunnel becomes more and more dim as failure and shame build. While trapped in my addiction to pornography, I thought for years that freedom was unattainable. 

My pride and desire for control lead me to think that I could fix myself. The harsh reality was that I couldn’t. But I sit here today, in this moment, with a new level of health and freedom. How did I finally get here?

“Freedom is not having the ability to do what you want to do, freedom is having the ability to do what you ought to do.” – Josh McDowell

Identifying Freedom

First of all, let’s define “freedom,” specific to addiction. About a year and a half ago, when asked to define freedom by a few of the staff here at Josh McDowell Ministry, I thought a moment and replied, “Freedom is not struggling with temptation or sin.”
At the time, I really thought that was the goal I was supposed to be aiming for. It was certainly my personal goal in the first few months of my recovery. But I have come to realize that it’s not the right goal or definition, because it’s completely unrealistic.
Back then I expected that there would be a moment in my recovery where I would experience complete freedom — which would last the rest of my life. I thought freedom meant I would no longer struggle with lust, experience the temptation of sexual sin, or have to deal with the consequences of my sin. Now I understand that complete freedom isn’t possible here on earth, because of our inherent sinful nature. We still sin.

Justification

From my mindset of not struggling, I defined freedom through the lens of justification. Justification is a big theological term that means “to be declared righteous, or to be made right with God.”
Romans 5:18-19 tells us what Christ did for us: “Therefore, as one trespass led to condemnation for all men, so one act of righteousness leads to justification and life for fall men. For as by the one man’s disobedience the many were made sinners, so by the one man’s obedience the many will be made righteous.”
When Christ died on the cross, He took our sins upon himself. In His resurrection, He conquered that sin. Because of His gift of grace, we believers are justified, or declared righteous, when we surrender our lives to Him. Christ paid the price that we could never pay; we are fully forgiven, if we choose to accept it.

Sanctification

I think a much better definition of freedom is found in terms of sanctification. To be sanctified is “to be brought into the presence of God and to share in the life of His Son through the Holy Spirit.” That sounds intimidating, so let me break it down.
You and I have been brought into God’s presence by Christ’s death and resurrection on the cross. This is called adoption. With this adoption, we gain the gift of the Holy Spirit working in our lives. The Holy Spirit helps us in many ways, including convicting us and leading us toward repentance. When we repent and turn away from our sin, we become more like Christ. So sanctification is our growth toward a life that imitates Christ; a life of holiness.
In the same way, finding freedom is growth toward health. We find freedom in health. 1 Thessalonians 5:23 says, “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely, and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Full freedom isn’t possible because of our sinful nature, but we can gain health.
If we look at Josh’s definition — that “freedom is having the ability to do what you ought to do” — we get a better grasp of how to view freedom. If we are free to do what we ought to do, we remove the barriers that keep us from doing what we ought to do.
Freedom, or health, looks a lot like being connected to the life of God.

Restoration

Christian counselor Michael Dye created an addiction recovery tool called the FASTER Scale. The scale identifies the stages people move through toward relapse, so they can see it coming and get proactive. The FASTER acronym stands for Forgetting Priorities, Anxiety, Speeding Up, Ticked Off, Exhausted, and Relapse.
The FASTER Scale focuses on restoration (accepting life on God’s terms, with trust, vulnerability, and gratitude). If we live in restoration, we live lives saturated with healthy relationships, vulnerability, intimacy, identifying and dealing with emotions, walking with the Spirit, and working through pain. These aspects create health, which produces freedom.
This freedom is based on connection with God and other people. No matter our state of health, we still experience temptation and sin. But if we are living in restoration and connection, our connectedness provides healthy ways of dealing with them. 
Often, to gain health or freedom, we must go to what hurt us in the first place: people. We learn to cope as people closest to us hurt us. But this woundedness creates isolation and barriers that keep us from living in intimate connection with God and others. To break down those barriers and return to health, we must learn to trust others and experience the intimacy that God intends us to enjoy.

Can we really gain freedom and health? Yes!

Walking in Freedom

I have been finding freedom and health for the past two years. It is unbelievably fulfilling to walk in health, because it is how God created me to experience life. Has it been hard to find health? Yes, but incredibly worth it.
I found health primarily by returning to my identity in Christ. I had to identify the root of the problem — my belief that I was not enough — and to experience my worth in Christ. I have had to process the pain in my past, and experience who I am in Christ through relationships with others. I have learned how to trust others with my fears.
Freedom is found when we live in health. It is characterized by vulnerability, connected relationships, intimacy, walking with the spirit, identifying and dealing with emotions, working through pain, and experiencing our worth in Christ.
Freedom is returning to our identity in Christ. Freedom is being less bound to the sins that entrap us. It is not always constant; it fluctuates day-to-day as we walk with others and navigate our sin-soaked world. We won’t find full freedom from sin here on earth, but we can find freedom from addiction. This is the hope that I and other addicts have, that freedom and health are possible. Here. Now. 
Christ came to redeem, and we cannot forget that. No matter the struggle, we have worth in and to Christ.
Your road to health may be hard, but take my word for it: Your experiencing intimacy with the Lord and others, and being who you were created to be, will satisfy your soul. It has mine. That is God’s design. That is freedom.

Interested in a list of ministries that help people to overcome porn? Click here.

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> Josh has compiled decades of research here: The Porn Epidemic.
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Austin is part of the speaking team at Josh McDowell Ministry.

Welcome! In this post Josh shares 7 tips (his “7 A’s”) to help parents develop great parenting skills to build healthy, affirming relationships with their kids.

The “7 A’s” include Affirmation, Acceptance, Appreciation, Availability, Affection, Approach Their World, and Accountability. If we parents focus on these areas, we’ll significantly improve our family relationships. To watch Josh’s videos on this topic click here. This is good stuff. Let’s dive in!

Great parenting doesn’t just happen, it’s learned!

Great Parenting: The #1 Thing Kids Want

Is it an iPhone? A car? Their own TV? While high on the list, these wants don’t claim the #1 spot. What kids want most from their parent(s) is a happy home life. So not things, but relationship.
Kids want the security of a home life that shelters, supports, encourages, and guides them. A home life that affirms their value. Kids want caregivers — parent(s), grandparents, others — who believe in them and enjoy having them around. In one survey alone, teens overwhelmingly said a happy home life is way more important than being rich.
From the get-go, we crave relationship with our parents. Not gaining that solid connection can have a lasting, negative impact. As an adult, for example, music legend Michael Jackson admitted, “I just wanted a dad. I wanted a father to show me love. But I never once heard my father say, ‘Michael, I love you.’” Clearly, Michael was still hurting from that loss.

If you want to gain great parenting skills, read on! Josh’s 7 relationship tips will help you move from baby steps to confident strides.

Josh’s “7 A’s” for Great Parenting

Affirmation

One of the most effective ways to build relationship with your child is to affirm his or her feelings. To affirm means to “validate or confirm.” What might affirmation look like? It might be telling your kids that you see how hard they are working at developing a new skill. It might be complimenting them on their test grade, or acknowledging how well they handled a tough situation. It might be pointing out areas where they stepped up, without being asked, to do a household task. It might be simply telling them that you’re proud of them.

Tip: Assess if you’re quick to point out when your children mess up, but fail to consistently recognize when they do well.

Our kids want to know that we notice their efforts. But they also need us to affirm their worth when they mess up. Otherwise, we tie their “who” (their person) to their “do” (their actions). That’s not how God sees us! Behaving badly at times doesn’t make us bad people. Behaving selfishly at times don’t make us selfish. It makes us human. Our goal should be to better reflect Jesus — though it might take us a lifetime of small steps to get there.
Never fail to tell your kids how much God is for them! Show them this truth in God’s Word.

Acceptance

Your kids crave knowing that, even on their worst day, you still want them. That you will love them, no matter what. Your acceptance gives your kids a powerful sense of security. Acceptance does not mean that you approve of or endorse all of your child’s actions. What it does mean is that you don’t waver in your belief of their inherent value. You affirm that your love is not conditioned by their actions.

Tip: Don’t make your kids think, act, or sound like you before you show them acceptance. Your child longs to hear you say, “There is nothing you can ever do – NOTHING! – that will cause me to stop loving you.”

If your teen daughter gets pregnant, does she know that you will still love and accept her? If your son lands in jail, does he know the same? Some parents find it really hard to stop punishing their kids for their mistakes and missteps. Perhaps because they overlook their own huge need for grace. God gives us endless chances to grow into our best selves. Let’s do our best to model that grace to our children.
Never fail to tell your kids that God’s love for them is constant. There is nothing they can do to cancel out His love for them!

Appreciation

When we express appreciation to our kids, we gift them with a sense of significance. We remind them that they matter! And we form the habit in ourselves to see the positive. Says Josh, “I’m convinced that the more I caught my three daughters and son doing things right and expressed my appreciation, the less there was to catch them doing things wrong.”

Tip: Parents, what you focus on grows. Focus on finding fault, and fault will grow. Focus on the positive, and your family will glow.

We help our children to become capable and confident when we remind them of their God-given strengths and talents.
Never fail to tell your kids that God delights in their doing their best. And that He made them unique; each person truly is special!

Affection

Kids need affection at every age. Our loving words and touch communicates to our kids that they are lovable. That they are worthy of our focus and care. That we’re glad that God has given us the privilege of being their parents.
Josh’s wife, Dottie, shares this personal anecdote from her own childhood:

“My mom had so many creative ways of letting us know how much she delighted in us. One very powerful thing she always did was to warmly greet us every time we’d walk into her presence. It didn’t matter if we had been gone five hours or five minutes! What did this communicate to me? That my mom was happy to just be with me. Did this help me understand that I was lovable and treasured? Absolutely! So when Josh and I had our children, I did the same thing for them. It made perfect sense to me; I had seen it modeled so often.”

Tip: “I love you” doesn’t have to be conveyed only in words.

We can express our love through our smile, our eyes, or appropriate touch — perhaps a caress on the cheek or a tight bear hug. Some families are big huggers. Others like to use high-fives. Others kiss every time they part. Once you learn how your child likes being shown affection, dish it out with gusto.
Never fail to remind your kids that God is fond of them. He created them!

Availability

The only way that you and I can demonstration affirmation, acceptance, appreciation, and affection to our kids is if we make ourselves available. Especially if we’re single parents. You might think that your kids don’t need or want you around. But you’re wrong. Your time and focus means the world to them, even if they don’t feel safe in showing it.
A young songwriter penned these lyrics about her absentee dad: “I wear your old clothes, your polo sweater. I dream of another you, the one who would never leave me alone to pick up the pieces – a daddy to hold me. That’s what I needed.”

Tip: “If you spend time with your children now, they’ll spend time with you later. If you love them now, they’ll love you later. If you talk to them now, they’ll listen to you later. If you listen to your children now, they will talk to you later. If you hug them now, they will hug you later.” ~Dottie

The more time you put in, the closer you’ll become. It’s the small, daily, teachable moments that help to cement a deepening connection between us and our children. Our consistent, positive interaction builds a strong foundation of trust that enables us to maintain a connection even during the rocky moments in our relationship.

Never fail to tell your kids that God is ALWAYS with them. Even when they can’t sense Him. Teach them to trust in His goodness, and to relax in His promises of working in their lives.

Approach Their World

When parents show interest in what their kids are interested in, they’re really saying, “I care about you and what makes you you.” You and I need to find out what our kids care about, and then step into those interests to experience them with them. As our kids get older, of course, it’s a good idea to knock before entering.

Tip: If you want to build relationships of substance with your kids, learn what interests them and find ways to support those interests.

Josh admits to having spent a lot of hours playing with his daughter when her Barbie dolls rocked her world. While some dads might think it silly to play with dolls or participate in their daughter’s tea party, Josh says those old memories continue to bring him a lot of pleasure. When his son, Sean, was hot for sports cars, Josh contacted area car dealerships to ask if they would give them test drives. More than a quarter of a century later, Sean still talks about that thrilling afternoon with his dad.
Deep bonding builds as two people enjoy a hobby or activity together. So does understanding.
Never fail to tell your kids that God is interested in every aspect of their life! 

Accountability

Parents, we must show our children affirmation, acceptance, appreciation, affection, availability and a sincere enthusiasm for their world. But we also must balance these relational connecting points with loving limits and boundaries, or our kids won’t learn responsibility. They won’t mature properly. They’ll be only a shadow of their best self.

Tip: As Josh says, “Rules without relationships lead to rebellion.”

Young people do not respond to rules …. they respond to rules within the context of loving, intimate relationship. On a broader scale, this truth applies even to the school classrooms and work environments.
Accountability provides the safe, secure parameters for our babies, toddlers, and especially our teens. Without the loving authority of parents and caring adults, kids will struggle to make responsible, right choices. Our kids think they know everything, but we know just how badly they need our wise counsel. Tell them about the hard lessons you’ve learned over the years, and where you wish you’d been guided in avoiding them.
Never fail to tell your kids that God’s rules and boundaries are for their protection, not to stall their fun. God is wise and loving and way smarter than we are. We can trust Him.

Parents, we have no guarantees with parenting, because our kids have free will. They, ultimately, will decide who they become. But if we have worked hard to establish healthy relationships, we have a much better shot at guiding them to become capable, confident, respectful adults who love and follow God. Let’s rise to the challenge!

√ CLICK HERE to view all of Josh’s parenting videos.
√ Click HERE to view Josh’s Father Factor report.

In our next blog post, let’s look at Josh’s 4 tips on reducing conflict. Hint: it starts with us!
Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Love is… what?

From movies to music to everyday conversation, we sure do use this word a lot. “I love me some pickle juice!” … “I love this movie!” …. “Baby, I love you!” The word doesn’t actually convey explicit depth, does it? It’s why we gals love to ask, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how MUCH do you love me?”

Defining Love

The big question is whether two people share the same definition. Most definitions make for catchy song lyrics or quotable movie lines, but don’t reflect the meaning God gives to the word. One definition that definitely isn’t true: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

If we don’t correctly define love, how will we know if we are in love? How will we know when others are giving us a shallow imitation? How will we be able to establish healthy boundaries?

Too often, “I love you” is said by one person to manipulate others into meeting their needs. “If you love me, you’ll … (x, y, z).”

Earning Love

In a 1959 television interview, Ayn Rand, the author of the widely circulated novel, Atlas Shrugged, shared the basic tenets of a new philosophy she labeled “objectivism.” Rand put forth that our morality must be based entirely on reason and logic, not “faith or whim.”

Man’s highest moral purpose, she asserted, is his own selfish happiness. That it’s not our individual responsibility to care about or “love” anyone we don’t deem “worthy.” Hold up. Is that how God tells us to love?

She added, “Man is entitled to his own happiness and he must achieve it himself, but he cannot demand that others give up their lives to make him happy. Nor should he wish to sacrifice himself for the happiness of others. If a man wants love, he should correct his weaknesses and flaws and he may deserve it, but he cannot expect the unearned. Neither in love or money.”

Rand’s world sounds selfish and exhausting. A world that lacks love and grace and mercy does feel like that. Perhaps Rand believed this because she felt that no one offered these kindnesses to her.

Sharing God’s Love

God would say to Rand, “True love is about sacrifice. Like the way I loved you on the cross.”

And that to love selflessly is to reach the highest level of humanity. Because when we love like that, we are being most like God.

The Bible tells us that love is patient and kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. That is our guide for how to really love others.

That’s a tall order, right? But with His help, they can become easier to do consistently. And as we repeat these actions on a daily basis, they become habits, which is a good thing!

This week, note when you use the words, “I love you.” Do your actions and your words match what God says love is?

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Want to know God’s love? Click here!

Welcome! In this post, let’s look at the word “tolerance,” and whether society pushes its intended meaning. 

Tolerance, traditionally, is defined as respectfully acknowledging another’s subjective beliefs and opinions — without endorsing or accepting them. As Josh McDowell puts it, “…loving someone with whom you may totally disagree.”

Today, society is pressuring us to accept a new meaning: one that says to be “tolerant” of another is to accept all subjective beliefs as valid.

That each person’s dignity and self-worth actually depends on everyone else endorsing their personal “truth.” That each person has the right to a moral code so subjective that no one else can judge it, regardless of its effect on themselves or society. And that those who “judge” it, must be shouted down and silenced.

The result? Society is priming us to live in a constant state of offense. Where’s the tolerance in that? We’re being played!

As Wendy Kaminar, a lawyer and writer put it nearly a decade ago, contemporary liberalism involves a virtual embrace of censorship; a therapeutic approach to rights; very expansive definitions of ‘harm’; and hostility to freedom of speech, conscience, and belief. We are being sold the notion that “tolerance” must protect all persons from feeling “emotionally harmed.”

Thus, adds, Kaminar, the rise of advocates of “equality” and “diversity” who believe society must sacrifice First Amendment rights to guarantee a truly tolerant society. “How long,” she asks, “have we heard… ‘I don’t believe in censorship, but free speech doesn’t include the right to offend.'” This is most evident on college campuses, she adds, “where students are regularly punished for jokes, satire, insults, and political speech that is considered demeaning to some presumably vulnerable group.”

I try to picture Jesus standing before an engaged crowd with a big smile on His face as He says, “You do you, and I’ll do me. Anything and everything goes!”

But I can’t. Because that’s not the message of truth that God took on human form to teach. Yes, Jesus affirmed the inherent value of the every person as God’s created children. But He also always directed people to live to God’s standard, that they (we) might grow into their (our) best selves and honor God.

The Bible clearly shows us that love trumps all. We are to 1) love God, and 2) love our neighbor as ourselves. We are to live in peace with one another (Hebrews 12:14), and we are to quickly forgive one another (Ephesians 4:32). But we also are to help each other live within God’s establish boundaries. Because God hates sin. We are to offer one another grace (tolerance), as God “cleans up the junk in our trunk.”

As Dr. Henry Cloud, the co-author of the New York Times bestselling book, Boundaries, puts it: “Truth without grace is judgement, and it can kill someone’s spirit. True love is grace and truth together. Show up with both at all times.” Just as Jesus did.

Addressing Christianity’s Intolerance

One reason the world views Christianity to be so intolerant is that too many of us make it our default to lead with judgement. And we don’t just reserve our criticism for those outside the church. Some of us think it our job to crush our Christian brothers and sisters with condemnation.

“Anyone who has been in the church for very long has been hurt by people in the church,” notes Dr. Cloud. “For in the body of Christ, we find some harsh realities: judgment, pride, self-centeredness, manipulation, abandonment, abuse, control, perfectionism, domination, and every kind of relational sin known to humankind. The walls of the church do not make it safe from sin. In fact, the church by definition is composed of sinners.”

But condemnation never leads anyone to rise to a higher standard. Our own hearts must first be tender, to effect softening the hearts of others. That’s why Jesus first showed that He cared about people’s hurts and needs before He talked about their sin. His tolerance of their humanity led them to being open to admitting the sin that was destroying their lives.

I know one Christian woman who spends most of her time pointing out how others are sinning (she even writes caustic letters to well-known pastors to tell them how they’re missing the mark). She truly is one of the unhappiest people I have known, in part because she lives in a constant state of offense, for even her own screw-ups. Grace and tolerance are, to her, foreign concepts. She has accepted only part of the Gospel message.

Where have we gotten the message that we need to judge sin before we can show love? Certainly not from Christ’s example.

Seeing How “Cultural “Tolerance” Lacks Tolerance

I do understand the fear that society is “going to hell in a hand basket,” to echo the popular phrase. When “truth” and “morality” are seen as entirely subjective, we do have cause to be concerned that society might implode. But cultural tolerance, in the way society nows defines it, is not the path of “enlightenment” it promises.

In an earlier series of blog posts we did based on Josh’s book, The Beauty of Intolerance, we highlighted three ways that cultural tolerance fails us:

FAILURE #1: Cultural tolerance promises complete moral freedom — but chains us.

Ah, the allure of empty promises! Let’s think through the consequences of an “anything goes” society. Here’s just one example: In one of those popular one-the-street interview shows, one young woman declared that she’s perfectly okay with a father and daughter having a sexual relationship, because “people should be allowed to do what they want.” Really? Yowza. She clearly hasn’t thought through the negative outcomes of society endorsing such relationships.

FAILURE #2: Cultural tolerance trains us to react to life from a fluid standard of our subjective emotions and personal life experiences. The sand will always be shifting.

Without a set moral standard, too many of us “do life” by how we feel. And boy do we open ourselves up to a whole lot of unnecessary drama. “I’m not feeling it, man” sounds reasonable — until we compare it to God’s word. I don’t feel like being patient. God tells me to be patient. I don’t feel like I have to be the first to forgive. God tells me to restore relationships before the sun sets. I don’t feel like I need to give my time. God tells me to generously serve others. It’s all about me, baby, and you can go away if you don’t like it!

FAILURE #3: Cultural tolerance uses shame to control us — while proving its own intolerance.

It hurts to be called a “bigot.” Or a “hypocrite.” Or “unloving,” “judgmental,” or a “jerk.” Because we’re hardwired for community and connection, feeling ostracized crushes us. I detest bullies — but I have to remember that many of those now screaming for subjective “truth” have been programmed in their thinking by the media, schools, and other sources that seek a post-God norm. Some of them have been bullied by messy Christians they’ve bumped into. But many have been misledto believe that Christianity has no positive effect on society, which is simply untrue.

Tolerance, Jesus Style

Friends, let’s show the world that it’s wrong about the Church only seeking to control and condemn.

Where there is yelling, let us breathe kind whispers. Where there is scorching fire, let us pour refreshing water. Where there is hate, let us reflect God’s love. Let us bring God’s unswerving truth. It’s this tolerance that Jesus modeled.

Bottom line: Christians don’t get a pass for being jerks to others. If you’ve ever told someone, “God hates you!”, please ask for forgiveness. Jesus came to show all of humanity the length He’d go to to reconcile us to Himself. Jesus died for EVERYONE. Which means God hates NO ONE. And as He invites us into daily relationship, He tolerates our moments of failing as He leads us into maturing and reflecting His character. Think about that amazing grace! Imagine how little we’d trust and love Him, if His daily response to us was heaping condemnation.

Cultural tolerance fails us. But we can show the tolerance Christ demonstrates to us, and change the world.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series. Last week’s post: Showing Christ Relevant to Our Whatever Culture

Welcome! In this post Josh shares nine ways Christians can show Christ relevant in our secular culture.

We can’t just claim “Christ is truth” anymore, says Josh. We must provide historical evidence for the truthfulness of the Bible, but also share the deep and personal convictions we’ve gained through our committed walk with Christ.

Is Christ Relevant in Our Modern World?

Sadly, many young people have bought into the secular idea that there is no absolute truth. But God’s standard of truth has not changed. What has changed is our tolerance for “situational” truth.

But when “truth” is situational, is it really truth? Vegetarians, for example, believe their “truth” that it’s wrong to eat animals. Nudists believe their “truth” that clothes are a hindrance. Abortion centers believe their “truth” that killing babies isn’t murder. Scammers believe their “truth” that it’s acceptable to steal what doesn’t belongs to them. Each is simply citing the “truth” of their personal values.

Tolerance used to mean respectfully acknowledging other viewpoints without endorsing them. Now tolerance is defined as needing to respect all values, beliefs, and lifestyles as equal and valid. This only works in Fantasy Land. We know this, but we’re trying to live like boundaries don’t matter.

So why are we still sending people to prison? We are lawyers still arguing on behalf of their clients?

If there is no real truth, Josh reminds us, there are no real answers. Which leads to society spiraling ever lower. “People say, ‘I’m smart enough to create my own moral code,” says Josh. “But if we accept that norm, we justify even the actions of mass murderers.”

“Truth” is not what we simply choose to believe it is. That’s opinion.

Josh’s 9 Steps for Showing Christ Relevant to the World

Step 1: Create Community

Our society is full of broken people from broken homes suffering the fallout of dysfunctional relationships. How do today’s youth view success? One of the top rankings is a happy home life. People want to experience real love. You and I are to commit to loving so fiercely that people take note and wonder, “How is this possible?” We will sometimes fail  — but even in messy brokenness we can point to our source: Christ. Invite people into your life. See them as God sees them: as worthy and loved and cherished.

Step 2: Demonstrate Christ-like Compassion

Josh reminds us that it is only when we are convinced that another cares about us that we allow them to have influence in our life. Our churches should be known for their outreach ministries — but you and I need to be the ones signing up to participate to give these ministries life. We also need to minister in our personal lives. Are we good neighbors? Are we good friends? Are we willing to help a stranger, just for the opportunity to be like Christ? Ask God to help you live selflessly like Jesus.

Step 3: Context Truth Relationally

Bottom line: we must live out the truth of Christ through loving relationships. Do we allow others to take up our time when they need a helping hand or shoulder to cry on? Or do we live conditionally, only “serving” when we feel like it or because we think we’ll benefit? If you and I are to have the honor of showing Christ relevant in other people’s lives, we must do from a position of authentic relationship. We can build trust with people through grand gestures, but we build real intimacy by showing up, again and again, over time.

Step 4: Creatively Communicate Your Personal Testimony

Nothing will have more impact on showing Christ relevant to others than our effectively sharing our testimony. Can you confidently share ways that Christ has/is making a difference in your life? “Some people try to tell me they don’t have a testimony,” says Josh, “but I say, ‘Yes you do! You’re just being lazy. Set aside time to identify how your life was before Christ, how you came to know Christ, and how He’s changed your life.'”

It is because Josh has put in so many hours thinking about concrete examples to answer these questions that his personal testimony rings with authenticity and power. Because Josh KNOWS how Christ is relevant in his life, he is ever ready to share his testimony when asked. You and I should be just as prepared and hopeful at getting the chance to share ours. Start with this post about answering questions about Jesus.

Step 5: Demonstrate Caring Relationships

In our high-tech world, people crave caring relationships. As Josh puts it, “High tech calls for high touch.” The Church has the unique opportunity to meet this craving through loving community. But, again, entering a church can be an intimidating experience — especially for a non-believer who assumes s/he will be outed for not know when to sit, stand, pass the offering bucket, or even which book in the pew is the Bible.

People! We need to make sure we’re making it easy and comfortable for anyone to kick the tires of a church. That doesn’t mean we soften the message of our need for a Savior. It means we lead with caring. So the next time you go to church, don’t just say hi to the people you already know. Say hi to at least five people — especially those who look a bit anxious. Your friendly gesture of inclusion may be the single reason they decide to come back.

Step 6: Be Christ’s Love

It’s no big deal to love the lovable. But we enter a whole different ballgame when we show grace and patience and kindness to people who aren’t. The world is watching how you and I respond to the rude grocery cashier or jerky driver who just cut us off. The world is watching how we treat the homeless, convicts, and the adulterer next door that the neighborhood is having a field day gossiping about. “It’s loving the unlovable that will reach people’s hearts and minds to consider Jesus as the source of true love,” says Josh. “That’s the supernatural truth about the Christian faith.”

Beth Moore’s story about brushing a stranger’s hair in the airport always strikes me as the perfect example of showing Christ’s love. As Beth says, “When we are filled to the measure with the fullness of Christ, you cannot believe the needs we can meet. We can do what we know we can’t.” When we allow it, God can do through us what we simply can’t do on our own.

Step 7: Demonstrate Conspicuous Christ-like Marriage and Family

There can be no argument that America’s acceptance of easy divorce has severely handicapped the stability of the family unit. Why work hard on something that is just so much easier to leave behind? Kids suffer from the decisions of their parents on so many levels.

Today, youth truly don’t really know what the word “committed” means. They throw away their water bottles, they toss their barely used clothing, their gadgets, and their friends, when convenient. It’s the model society has shown them to follow. But Christ-followers can make a difference by giving power and purpose to the word “committed.” We can demonstrate Christ’s humility and selflessness and generosity.

We can demonstrate sticking to hard stuff because it’s the right thing to do. We can offer selfless love. We can demonstrate the joy of living within God’s boundaries. “What has opened more doors for me to impact culture,” shares Josh, “has to do with the love I demonstrate for my wife and children.”

Step 8: Develop Credible Convictions

Before you and I can share our faith or testimony, we have to put in the work of growing the convictions we hold. As Josh mentioned above, some Christians have gotten lazy. To them, Christianity is a passive relationship, not an active, living/breathing relationship that gives their life peace and clarity and power.

Some Christians have never even read the Bible!

Here Josh gets very direct: If someone asks you why you take the truth of Christ at His word, and your reply is, “Because that’s what I was taught,” you prove the weakness of the foundation for your faith. Two other “dumb answers,” says Josh, are “Because I believe it” and “Because I have faith.” Muslims have belief and faith. So do Mormons and Hindus and Buddhists and the New Age crowd. So how is your faith in Christ any different? “Faith,” says Josh, “doesn’t make something true.” Only truth makes it true.

It’s a problem when the Church teaches a belief system without conviction. A conviction, explains Josh, is not just what you believe, but why you believe it, and how you’ve experienced it in your own life. Take the phrase “Jesus saves.” In your own life, what does that mean?

How has God showed you that 1) you matter to Him, that 2) He is changing you, and 3) That you can trust Him. Are you convinced, for example, that God is good, even when you don’t get what you want? The conviction that God is good, all the time, can only take root in our lives when we let go of how we think God should show up. We take Him at His word that He has a good plan for our life.

Step 9: Congregate With People

Jesus didn’t check into a hotel in each town and tell the crowds to grab a number to visit with Him. What Jesus did do was make Himself accessible. He risked hanging with people that the religious leaders viewed so beneath them that interacting with them would soil both their fine clothing and their souls. But what they should have done, says Josh, is “throw the pearls, and let God decide who is swine.”

The point is to not set ourselves up as better than others, and to seek to create relationship with anyone needing God — even those that society disrespects or ridicules. Do you volunteer at church as a teacher or greeter? Have you served at a homeless shelter or food bank? Have you delivered meals to a shut-in?
Have you participated in a prison ministry or a home for unwed mothers? Jesus loved loving on “sinners” because He felt compassion for the hurting. He was always on mission to draw them into loving relationship with God.

Is Christ relevant? Yes! Yesterday, today, and tomorrow! Let us wisely show this truth to the world. God, alone, does the drawing of people to Him, so don’t feel like you have to know exactly what to say. Just be an open conduit that God can use, and God will will work through you to change hearts and minds.

NEXT STEPS

> Interested in knowing God personally? Get started with this really good info.
> Need prayer for more power in your faith? Contact us. We would love to pray for you!
> Connect with our Resolution Movement. Find freedom from your sin!
> We invite you to read Josh’s book, More Than a Carpenter. This short apologetics classic examines the historical evidence of Jesus. He died. He rose. He lives. He is our hope and example!

Welcome! Let’s talk about boundaries, which we need to make good, ethical choices.

On what should we base the boundaries we establish in our life? It‘s not enough to base our morality on the Ten Commandments or other boundaries mentioned in the Bible. That’s because it’s not the rules themselves that create lasting change in us, but our relationship with their source, God.

Josh McDowell has recorded many videos on the topic of making right moral choices, which you can watch here. In this post, let’s look at two analogies Josh mentions in those videos, to better understand that God’s boundaries are good, not punitive.

The Source of the Precepts and Principles

As Josh reminds us, biblical boundaries are ONLY important because of the source of their moral authority. Skeptics argue that the Bible is “man-made,” but they’re wrong. The Bible is “God-breathed,” dictating a high ethical standard that humanity struggles to mirror. Even on our best days we screw up.
A little gossip here, a little envy there, a slip of judgment here, a whole lot of unloving everywhere.

God’s boundaries aren’t about His ego, but our best life. As Josh masterfully explains in his videos, within every biblical precept — every “Thou Shalt Not!!” — is a moral principle based on the person and character and nature of God. Let’s look at two examples, so we understand what Josh means.

Example #1: The moral principal of honesty undergirds the precept “Thou Shalt Not Lie.” But the reason that lying is morally wrong is because God and Jesus are TRUTH.

Example #2: The moral principal of respecting the sanctity of life undergirds the precept “Thou Shalt Not Kill.” But the reason that killing is morally wrong is because God and Jesus are LIFE.

Likewise, we are to seek justice because God and Jesus are JUST. We are to seek purity because God and Jesus are PURE. We are to reject hate because God and Jesus are LOVE.

In a nutshell, any choice we can make that is contrary to God’s nature is morally wrong. God doesn’t tell us how to think and act to bend us to His will. Rather, He lovingly created guidelines for our protection and provision.

Let’s use the umbrella in the photo above to symbolize the protection of God’s guidelines.
When we follow God’s rules, we stay dry. But when we willfully choose to walk — or run! — into the rain, we wind up with wet clothes, if not pneumonia. “It’s always an act of love on God’s part to protect us and provide for us,” says Josh. “But when, through an act of disobedience by a decision of our own will we ignore God’s precepts, we remove ourselves from the very protection and provision of those precepts.”

An analogy Josh shares further drives this point home:

Two teenagers, bored on a hot, summer night, remember that a neighbor has a backyard pool. They also remember that the neighbors are on vacation. They decide to sneak over to enjoy a refreshing swim. They giggle as they clammer over the tall backyard fence, willfully ignoring the posted “No Trespassing!” and “No swimming!” signs.
The girl cautiously makes her way across the unlit backyard as her boyfriend races to the diving board. With one hard bounce, he catapults his body high into the air. The girl’s laugh turns to a shriek as she reaches the pool’s edge and realizes there is no water in the pool. The impact of the boy’s dive snaps his neck, instantly paralyzing him.

The homeowners didn’t post the warnings to take fun from the boy’s life, but to protect him. In disregarding the posted warnings, he moved himself into danger.

God’s Tall Ladder Perspective

Like this young man, we often don’t see the looming dangers. Or we minimize the consequences of stepping into sin. “How much can it hurt?” we ask ourselves. Unfortunately, you and I have a very limited perspective. God, on the other hand, sees every possible scenario — and their resulting joys and sorrows.

Have you ever entered one of those corn mazes? (The kind that stresses me out because I’m claustrophobic AND a control freak?!) At every junction you ask, “Should I turn right? Or left, perhaps?” And with every wrong turn and dead-end, you get more confused about where you are in the maze, and the location of the correct path leading to the exit. If you only had a birds-eye view!

If you had a guide — a trustworthy source — perched atop a really high ladder, you’d have help in making the right choices to successfully navigate the maze. In life we can consistently make right choices, and enjoy much good in life, by following God’s guidelines and boundaries.

God: “Do you believe that I love you and want to bless you with provision and protection? Then commit to my boundaries. They are for your good, because I am good.”

From His eternal perspective, God does life with us, asking, “Want to avoid heartache? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to avoid that addiction? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to be successful in business? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate. Want to experience true, meaningful love? Follow my precepts; don’t deviate.”

But sometimes we get it into our heads that we know better than God. So we make willful choices outside of His boundaries, and must then suffer the consequences.

Spend some time reflecting on your life, and how choosing to live within God’s boundaries has protected you. But also look at the times you willfully stepped beyond His umbrella of protection and had to endure the fallout. Here’s the thing about sin: the repercussions aren’t always immediately evident. Sometimes we think we’ve gotten away with it. But sin eventually demands our payment.

“Unless we each come to understand that ‘God loves me’ and ‘I can trust Him,'” adds Josh, “we will never walk through life dependent on the character of God to make right choices.”

In our next blog post, let’s look further at the topic of actual truth, and how to identify it.
Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Welcome! In this post we’ll talk about trusting God’s goodness.

I don’t know about you, but I find myself cringing when people post on Facebook about their new house or car or health recovery with the joyous declaration, “God is GOOD!” This bothers me, I think, because I rarely see these same people joyfully declare God’s goodness when life dumps crud on them. Like, is God good only in the good times?

As Christ-followers, God asks us to trust Him. All the time. It’s there we find consistent joy, despite what’s happening in life.

Is God Good?

Deep down, don’t most of us wonder if God really is good, all the time, as His Word teaches us? To our logic-seeking human brains, a loving and good creator — our “Heavenly Father” — wouldn’t allow the misery we see in the world.

Is God playing favorites, or sometimes asleep at the wheel?

Writer Jennifer E. Jones asks, “If one person is hearing wedding bells and another is served with divorce papers, has God’s goodness changed somehow?” Here’s the truth: Our self-absorbed perspective is puny. And if we’re continually judging God for how He shows up in the world, we’ll find it impossible to fully trust Him.

God’s Word includes pain-filled stories about Adam and Eve… the flood… Jonah… JOB!!!!… which cause us to doubt that God always has our back. Especially when our personal prayers go unanswered. But the Bible cautions us not to trust in our own wisdom; to recognize that God alone can see the complete, big picture, and that He is working for our good.

Pastor Jason Helveston suggests that we continually question God’s loving and faithful nature because we are hardwired to crave explanation for the crud. “We cannot help,” he writes, “but search for meaning in the face of tragedy and pain. When we can’t find answers we often come up with our own. And, if you’re like me, your answer is often not a good one.” 

Affirm God’s Goodness!

The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in His name. Nahum 1:7

The Bible  tells us of the constant peace we can have if we’ll simply believe that God is working for our good. Some of us have an easier time in believing this. Others get there only after experiencing a lot of personal crud. Take Job, for example. The poor guy was golden — until God allowed Satan to strip Job of his health, mega wealth, and huge stable of children. Yet Job, even in his anguish and the wracking pain in his body, didn’t disavow God’s goodness!

I’ll admit that even when just my toes are dipped in crap I can question God’s love for me. But I want to get so cemented in my trust that I am able to immediately push those false thoughts aside. What’s a first step I can take to build that habit of trust?

In her article “So is God really good?” Jennifer writes, “Well, let’s rethink the question. First and foremost, let’s take it out of the context of getting our wishes granted. It is always wonderful when our prayers are answered; however, His goodness doesn’t start and end there.”

Trust God’s Goodness!

It’s not hard to see God as good when life feels good. But what if God wants to know if we, like Job, will trust Him through mind-blowing suffering? I continually pray for ease and health and blessings on myself and others. Because pain hurts and, frankly, I’d rather avoid it. But as I overheard someone say, “You never find out what you’re made of until you find yourself in boiling water.”

And we don’t really know that we trust God until we commit to doing it. Trust is an action word. It requires an active step. So sometimes God hands us hard moments to build our trust and reliance on Him.

You and I must make the daily choice to trust that God sees us, hears us, and cares for us more than we can ever fathom. Perhaps Charles Sturgeon, the famous Victorian pastor, had this in mind when he wrote these amazing words more than a century ago:

“The worldling blesses God while He gives him plenty, but the Christian blesses Him when He smites him: he believes Him to be too wise to err and too good to be unkind; he trusts Him where he cannot trace Him, looks up to Him in the darkest hour, and believes that all is well.”

Let’s place our trust in the only source that doesn’t change: God. Especially during the cruddy moments. It is only when we choose to believe that God is working for our good, as He promises us in His Word, that we can clearly see Him show up. God is after our trust. Sometimes it takes the cruddy moments for us to decide to lean in and give it to Him.

In our next blog post, let’s look further at why we need to trust God’s love for us.

Catch up: The introductory post to this series.

Welcome! In this post we ask a HUGE question that many believe is impossible to answer: “Can we know absolute right from wrong?”

Actually, yes. Let’s look at the 3-point checklist Josh McDowell uses for knowing absolute right to make sound moral choices.

If It’s Legal, It’s Moral…Right?

If you were to vote on whether absolute truth is knowable, would you cast your vote as yay or nay?

Chances are high you’d vote nay, as our increasingly secular society has been quite successful in selling us on the fallacy that truth is entirely subjective. “My truth is my truth, and your truth is your truth.” But can you and I really base truth on subjective preference? Can our society, as a whole, do so and manage to survive?

Josh, in his video on discerning right from wrong, states, “Legality has nothing to do with morality.” This is a critical point, people! Because if morality is determined by what is legal, does that mean that when the law changes, morality also changes? Is morality really that fluid?
In an online article titled “Is God really good?” the writer reminds us that “God is the author of logic and truth, so God’s Word should be high on the priority list when analyzing anything critically. In fact, without the biblical God, there is no logical basis for using the laws of logic, which flow from His nature.”
Adds the writer, if there is no absolute standard of morality, everyone would do what his own collection of atoms in his brain told him to do — be it murdering someone who got in his way, or taking food from someone who had more than he did.

But it’s this line in the article that sums up why we, ourselves, can’t be the absolute standard for morality: “Why would the collection of atoms that compose my brain be any better at determining what is ‘right’ than the next person’s?”

Absolute right: God’s Standard

Yet society does push that “right” and “wrong” is entirely subjective! That only an old-fashioned fool would hold to a one-size-fits-all moral code. But this isn’t true. And deep down we all know it. We know when we’re choosing sin but justifying it. God tells us in His Word that He creates us with this soul knowledge.
Listen, it doesn’t matter what our parents or pastor taught us. Our moral code isn’t “right” because it reflects our family values. It’s not right because it “feels” right to us. It’s not right because it follows the majority view. And it’s certainly not right because an authority figure (or government) condones or enforces it.

Our moral code is correct only when it aligns with God’s person and character. We can’t pin our moral code on what our college professors think, what our friends think, what our parents think, or even what our pastors think. Only what God says.

Josh’s Three Steps for Making Moral Choices God’s Way

Josh notes that God is just, righteous, and pure—because each of these aspects reflect His character. If we profess to follow Jesus, our personal moral code should reflect our commitment to reflect Him, not our selfish desires. We are called to get past our innate selfishness and align our moral choices with God’s standard of absolute right.
Josh’s three steps:

1. Accept that only God has the authority to define absolute right and wrong.

2. Compare the choice you’re making to God’s standard. Do they align? Or are you twisting Scripture, or taking it out of context, to affirm the choice you want to make?

3. Count on God’s blessings when you choose His righteousness. Now, the immediate return on our doing right may initially lead to negative consequences — we might lose friends, family, or even our career. But in the long run, God promises us His grace, protection, and provision when we align our lifestyle with His standard.

We’re not being “progressive“ or “enlightened” when we base our morality on a standard other than God’s. We’re choosing to disregard the Creator who loves us more than life itself. It’s that simple. He alone gets to set what is absolute right and wrong.

In our next blog post, let’s look further at why God, not society or people, should be our standard.
Catch up: The introductory post to this series.